A
female
age
36-40,
*enders
writes:I send in the question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-cheat-and-we-break-up-now-the.htmland after a while, I took the action myself…oops!I know it might not be the best thing to do (probably a stupid thing to do)I got really annoyed when he msn me again. So i ask him to stop after some not-friendly conversation in which he keep trying to talk to me and saying he will never forget me etc.(I ask him to stop being friend with me and forget about me as it is not working!!)I send an email afterward stating all the pro and cons of us staying friends. (Mainly cons) in the email i say we really cannot be friends with him because of what he done.The impression i got from what he told me before was that he “spent a night with someone” I read this as “having sex with some random girl”.His reply is he did spend a night with someone but no sex. This reply is strange and not believable to me. I reply and ask many questions “why didn't you say it clear?”, “what really happen?” Also I ask my close friends that met him, they think he is a nice person and probably isn't the kind of guy that go have sex randomly but agree the whole thing is weird.Then after a while the reply came stating that he think long distance relationships is too hard and do not know what to do and do not know how to keep it.I think this is odd. Maybe new place bring out different side in people…As when we were a couple, we sometimes spend a month on end not seeing each other. I got exams he got exams… I have to visit my family (in other country) he got to go on trips with friends…I must admit no matter some friends try so hard to talk me into forgetting him. I am finding it hard although he is not my first boyfriend (I was his first girlfriend)
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female
reader, wenders +, writes (27 October 2007):
wenders is verified as being by the original poster of the question to Blue_Angel0316:
i know what u mean....but not knowing the answer is just driving me mad.
he didnt send any awful messages.
the most hurtful thing is this all happen over email and msn.
calling his phone just went dead end....
i am scared of the thought as i still has feeling for him and i really dont want to know if he got new girlfriend.
(prob the one he spend a night with)
news will soon surface and i will be hurt once more...
i do feel really sad.
as the person i used to know.
he takes things seriously as i do.
but now everything is like nothng...
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (27 October 2007):
 It is quiet possible to sleep in the same bed with a man and have no sex. I know this for a fact. So even though it may be quiestonable it may also be true.
If you are finding it hard to forget him then you must like him alot. He keeps you going if nothing else! Maybe you have been too hard on the relationship and really want it to work out as friends or otherwise.
I would say stop all contact on your part. If he is sending you messages that are annoying or just plain rude and awful stop reading his messages. Give him time to reconsider his own actions and get his attitude in check.
To the remark that "maybe new places bring out different sides to people" can be a correct assumption because new place, new faces, new experiences can all make new changes. This is not always the case though.
Long distant relatioships can certainly be a stain on either or both of the parties involved. Rethink your postion and his on this because it sounds like you could be having some second thoughts here youself. It could be that you are just pretty confused at his actions and cannot get over the bad things that have happened. Is it worth saving the relationship as friends or otherwise?
Follow your heart, be safe and be kind to yourself. Let him seek you in peace or forever let him go.
Godspeed.
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