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I want to break up and have my time of FUN, but what if it's not possible to return to my boyfriend later? Should I take the chance?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *urseofcurves writes:

So I've been in a relationship with my bf for about a year and a half and I am pretty sure that I want to end up with him. The problem is, I'm only 19 and I feel like I haven't gotten to do a lot of the things I'd like to do. I live with him, so I've never gotten to live with my best friend like we always planned. I haven't dated anyone else since high school, and I can't go out and be crazy. I don't want to be single and crazy forever, but we only live once, and I want a few years of fun. I also am really attracted to another guy who I've been off and on with but never anything official. I'm not sure what to do because if I take a break from my bf, I may not end up with him. Should I take the chance?

View related questions: a break, best friend

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A female reader, lostone United States +, writes (18 November 2008):

This almost sounds like me from two years ago. I was living with my bf and hadn't dated anyone else since junior year of high school. I loved him more than anything and wanted to marry him, but also felt like I was missing out on what else was out there. And I also had a really cute guy after me who I'd been more than friendly with in the past but we were never official.

Only you know your whole and true feelings for your current boyfriend who you say you want to end up with. So just ask yourself what it is you love about him and is it worth risking all that for whatever else is out there? Could it possibly be better than what you have now? If you can honestly say no to that and you're truly happy where you are, then you should stick with your boyfriend. These wild feelings to be single again so you can experience more dating will pass and develop into a deeper love for your partner with time.

However, if your feelings are unsure, realize that even though it seems you've been together a long time, you both still are growing emotionally and as a person. Not alot of high school sweethearts stay together because of this. If you are at all feeling unsure that you might be able to experience something better, then you might want to go on a break with your bf. He might feel the same way. Whichever you feel will make you happier is the one to go with, just make sure to care for your feelings as well as your boyfriend's with the choice you make.

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A male reader, LonelyButNotAlone United States +, writes (18 November 2008):

LonelyButNotAlone agony auntThe fact that you're having these feelings now says that you're not ready to settle down... and not to sound pessimistic, but... if you were to marry him now, you'd likely run into marital strife as a result of your unrealized desires to experience the freedoms of being a single, adult woman.

19 is very young and you've only been with him for a year-and-a-half.

Talk to him about it... tell him that you love him, but you'd like to consider trying to see some other people, just to see what it's like... so that you can get a better idea if your relationship with him is something you want to commit to in the long-term. I'm assuming your boyfriend is relatively similar in age to you? Perhaps he feels the same way.

BUT!!! Be prepared though. It's more likely that the idea won't go over well with him. He may decide to split with you completely... or worse yet, in your time apart, he might meet and become romantically involved with someone else. Is that something you're prepared for?

Either choice carries a heavy amount of risk. Some may say that it's better to regret something you did, than it is to regret something you didn't do.

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