A
female
age
51-59,
*pasa
writes:In Love With a Married Man. OK, here is my situation. I have been in love with a man for 3 years now. He live 2 states away from me. i am also married. We met through work, I worked for another comany at the time. We started talking and working togehter and there was an instant connection there, I mean something like I have never felt before, I felt like I had known him our whole life. We had an affair out of town at a company meeting, and was instantly taken with him. But because of both of our situations, we could only talk on the phone, and maybe see each other a couple of times a year. THEN, I quit my job because he offered me one at his company. It was an awesoime thing, more opportuntiy to get together with him, talk on the phone every day and maybe see him 4 times a year now. We still have the closest relationship, but now it is a little differnt. Now it seems like I need him way more than he needs me. his lifew is great, married to a Dr, has 3 homes in differnt locations (sunny for that matter) and makes alot of money. i feel strapped with a husband that I could really do without and am staying with him because of the kids. I know I would leave my life for a new life with him but he would never leave his for me. I know none of this makes sense or is right but it hurts me every day to talk to him, and really heurts after I see him for a coup,e of times during hte year. I want to be with him anf it will never happen!! Pleas ehelp if you have evey been in the situation where you love someone and they cannot love you back
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female
reader, kpasa +, writes (17 October 2008):
kpasa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your responses. I do have to keep talking with him, because I work with him. I think my desicion needs to be one of can I keep this job, knowing and expecting things will never change? Be happy with seeing him only a few times a year, and the rest of the time get on with my own lfe and be responsible for making myself happy. I don't know if I can do that...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): look if you don't love your husband because you love this guy you should see other people this will get your mind straight you might meet someone else you like more who isn't married or you will realize what a great guy your own husband is but the only way to move on is to get your mind on someone else and see your options. you might not want to move on at this point but it is the only way to be in a for filling relation ship that will make you happy forget about the married man
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): The heart always wants what your head tells you you can't have. It sounds like a virtually impossible case. Do yourself a favour and stop talking to him. It's not healthy for you and you deserve alot better from life and from love. It shouldn't hurt all the time, it's not why love exists. It'll be hard but with time you will get over it. Also, if you're not happy in your marriage, don't stay in it for the sake of the kids. As long as you don't air your dirty laundry in front of them (no screaming matches, that's stressful), they will cope with a divorce. I should know, I'm from a broken home.
Test your strength, you'll be surprised how staunch you can be.
good luck to you :)
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