A
female
age
30-35,
*Elaine
writes:I am a freshman in college and back in highschool i dated a boy for 6 months we broke up last june because we no longer seemed like "boyfriend girlfriend" just more like friends. We ended up going to the same college and eventually started becoming more than friends and now have been like dating (not exclusively, but neither of us have dated anyone else) for 5 months. We talked about what we were last weekend and i personally want to be back to gf and bf but he doesnt want too. He says everything is perfect between us he just doesnt know where/what we will want to be doing in like 3 years once we graduate. I want him to live in the moment and not base what we do now on what we think we will happen in the future. My question is, what should i do?? Keep going with what he wants and just wait around until he decides something else or should i talk to him, break it off or just not worry about it? I am just super confused on why he is basing this off of like 4 years from now!
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female
reader, PElaine +, writes (13 April 2010):
PElaine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for responding it is a lot of help hearing other peoples opinions. And lolliepopprinces- we both tell each other that we really like each other. And i know i could just be reading into it, but i honestly feel like he likes me.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 He is simply not ready to commit.He is like a rolling stone which will gather no moss.
You can only be a friend to him and do not expect any commitments from him. You will only be disappointed if you expect that from him .
If you are looking for a commitment, find another guy.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 He wants the benefits of a relationship without committing to one. Leave him.
So he says he doesn't know what will happen in 3 years? So what, nobody knows, but they still make committments, get married, buy houses and cars, sign contracts and so on.
He's keeping you around for company and I assume sex, but he's not willing to committ to you. Basically, you're good enough for now, but if someone 'better' comes along tomorrow he'll be out of there and it will be easy to say 'well, we weren't BF/GF.'
This situation suits him perfectly fine. He's getting a lot from you and owes you nothing in the end. Are you happy with that?
Men who tell you that they don't want labels and committment, don't wake up one day and suddenly want those things. Men who do this, wake up one day and leave you for someone else. There is no point in waiting for anything. If he loved you and cared about you enough, he'd want to make you his GF, so as to make sure that no other guy gets to you. Is he doing that? No, he couldn't care less.
So why don't you tell him that for you to continue seeing him you need to be in a relationship, otherwise you're ending things. See what he says to that.
Just because you want to live in the moment, doesn't mean you can't commit to someone and live in the moment with them. He's making exuses and playing you.
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A
female
reader, lolliepopprincess  +, writes (13 April 2010):
first does he have feels for you? if so thens hes eather scared of being hurt or wants to be able to no longer love you darlin. get back to me on that one and i may be able to help you xxxxx
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