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age
30-35,
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writes: OK, so this is a long story that I'll sum up.My mom and dad had a huge fight one day. My mother ended up leaving because I took dads side and stated that everything should be solved calmly without violence. She wanted us to beg for her back but we never did. She's a cruel and violent person and I've had many scars throughout childhood because of her.Its been about 3 years since I've seen her and the divorce is finalizing within the next 4 months. My mother wants to sell our house and kick us out while she stays in an old townhouse that we could never sell, she wants to basically leave us stranded. She took all the family's saved funds (about $170,000) and has used them for her "needs." At this point the money's all hers and we'll never see a penny. There's 4 of us here, my dad's making less than $12,000 a year and my mom's making $40,000 yet she took everything from us. I've tried to talk to her but she only wants to discuss things through her friends. I refuse to have that kind of pen pal relationship with my own mother. She also wants to take our cars and have 2 for herself and leave us with 2 even though there are 4 of us. She is my mother and I feel sorry for her because she's picked possessions and money over relationships. I know she'll regret everything when I get married and when my sisters graduate from college in the next few years and she misses all these moments.It's been hard without a mother because she left when I was still in high school and I'm just wondering if a person like I've described has a soul. I want to forgive her but she's afraid of me and my sisters. I want to know what we should do. I don't want to get hurt anymore but I don't want to feel any sort of guilt or regret as I get older. I know there is something very wrong with her.Has anyone else had an experience like this?What can be done?
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female
reader, Midge  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 It will only make you a better person by forgiving!
Im sure everything will sort itself out over time. I do hope the best for you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs for the money stuff, my parents settled it but my mom tricked my dad into giving her all the money because he thought we were going to get all the cars and houses. And since all of us are currently over 18 there can be no child support. So there's no question about her taking that stuff. and everything with the money is final. :(
As for the forgiving, I suppose I'll do as Midge has done and forgive her deep down in my heart because I know she has problems. So, sorry mother, that you're going to miss out on important moments in our lives. Sorry that you will be surrounded by only material things.
Thank you, Midge.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (1 May 2010):
Firstly, so far as the financial situation is concerned, although she has taken the $170k from the savings account, the solicitors will sort that out. Im pretty sure that the marital assets will be divided fairly, and that they will take the money into account when they look at that. Hopefully your dad has mentioned that to his solicitors and if his solicitor is doing the job right, your mom will be have that taken into account. The townhouse will also be taken into account. Your dad will get some kind of remuneration for looking after you kids.
I know a person just like your mom. She is my sister and although I love her because she is my sister, she is probably one of the most self centred people I have ever met in my life. If she doesnt get what she wants, you will never hear the end of it.
Trust me, these people are the ones that loose out in life, and come off second best where it counts most. So although you may feel that she is getting everything now, later she will be a lonely lady who has nothing!
Now, having recently just lost my dad to cancer, I know that leaving this earth with regrets is not something I ever plan on doing. I have a completely different outlook on life now. My dad was a wonderful person and a fantastic dad, and I couldnt have asked for anyone better. I know that he left this earth without regret!!!! I plan on doing the same!
I have forgiven my sister for all the bad things that she has done to my family and for that I am a better person. I am better than her for making the first step and knowing that for everything that she has done, I forgive her, but I wont forget what she has done, and will probably always be very weary of any dealings with her.
If I can give you any advise, dont hold grudges! Leave this life without regret where possible! Forgive her, but you dont necessarily have to forget what she has done. Just be weary of any dealings you have with her!
Sorry I cant be of any more assistance!
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