A
female
age
26-29,
*onfused...
writes:i'am in love with my teacher, he is 26 and i'm 14 i know this is wrong, and i dont want to feel this way. but when i see him my heart beats really fast and my face gets really hot, and i feel conscious! i have tried to tell myself that i just admire his way of teaching, because i really do. he is kind, patient, understanding and VERY cute, when he's around i cant stop from stealing glances at him. I want this feeling to go away!please help me!
View related questions:
my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, everlastinglove  +, writes (5 March 2010):
what kind of looks like happy he was glad you were talking about him or like wth and what were you guys saying about him
A
female
reader, confused... +, writes (4 March 2010):
confused... is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok. PROBLEM! my friends know that i like him and they keep it to themselves but oh MY Gosh. we were talking about him near the lockers and we didn't notice he passed by, when we finaly realized he was giving us weird looks. i think he knows! what do i do?
...............................
A
female
reader, everlastinglove +, writes (27 February 2010):
sweetie i know EXACTLY how you feel im in the same situation and no matter how hard i try to shake it off i cant stop thinking about him. Ive actually become depressed because of it but i found the best way to cope to to express yourself and tell people but i mean like online like this to people you dont know. i would tell you more about my situation because there is alot more to it but thats just to long and ive had enough expressing for today! but i did post my question i think i called it something like depression by love forbidden something like that
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): Hey. I'm 17 at the moment and I know that's three years older than you, but I have the same feelings for my English teacher.
There's always one teacher you fantasize about, so don't get freaked out that you're the only one. Likelihood is that he's one of the 'hot' teachers.
I used to have that the same as you, when he walked past, my face flushed, I didn't know how to speak to him, I went quiet in lessons when he asked me questions.
Btw, he's 27, so it's a 10 year difference.
It was only until a few months ago that he started getting fidgety, and cutting to the chase, he called me to his office and we talked about it. It wasn't along the lines of 'I think this is inappropriate behaviour' because it wasn't, I was simply getting flustered whenever I saw him.
That was when he said to me that he'd actually been feeling the same way about me for a long time.
Now we're kind of stuck in a rut and don't know what to do...but that's not the point.
You need to talk this over with him face to face without getting emotional. Just start with 'Mr Whoever, may I talk to you in your office for a second?' If he gets shifty, then he isn't interested. Of course, if he does talk about it, you need to take deep breaths and consider what you say before you say it because it's not just your dignity on the line, it's also his job. Being in a private school, my teacher's worked hard to get this job and the main reason why we're not sure where to go from here is because we both don't want to throw his career into peril.
If you need any more help, I'm here.
...............................
A
female
reader, SsCcHh  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 I am of a similar age and I know the kind of feelings you can have toward teachers. Sometimes the idea of an older man/woman can seem so appealing, they are so grown up and interesting (sometimes very much unlike the boys of similar age).
However, the feelings you have for your teacher can not be pushed, and although they can of course be acknowledged and understood, you must understand that because he is your teacher, that your feelings can not be expressed to him, as this will not only cause trouble for you, but for him.
This lust and limerance felt toward a teacher or older person is a regular occurance in the maturity of a young girl, you just need to be strong and capable to have control over the situation. Try talking to friends and meeting new guys. I hope I've been of help to you x
...............................
A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich +, writes (12 February 2010):
 No.... No sweety, this is not bad. What you feel is exactly normal in this age. I was there too before but not with the teacher, only on our validictorian because he is really smart. But i did not think it negative for my self. Instead i use it as a inspiration for my study. He dont even know me. But he become my super crush during high school time. and believe me its really fun and normal. So use it as your inspiration so you will always excited everyday when you go to school. But study well dear" let him know you are also smart.. Relax and dont take it serious He will be your unforgetable super duper crush and puppy love but it will fade away when you are already in College., Goodluck..
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 February 2010):
 No babes, it's not wrong to be attracted by your teacher, I hope we haven't made you feel like that. It's not wrong to like anyone, you like who you like, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem we adults have is when young people try to do something about that love, by flirting with the teacher, or writing him notes and stuff. Feelings are never usually wrong, but actions can be.
You have feelings for your teacher, this is good. It shows you that you are growing up and turning into a woman. He's one of the few men your around, and in a school setting he looks like a kind man, and he knows a lot of stuff. It's not unusual to be attracted to him, this happens all the time. But don't worry, these feelings will eventually pass. You don't know him much, he could be a real lazy bones at home, he could be mean and shout all the time, we really don't know what he's like out of school. Soon you'll find your attraction dying away as you get older and find the boys around you starting to get taller and change.
You can write your feelings down in your diary,, and keep the diary locked away. I bet you won't feel the same next year. Feeling attraction for older people is part of growing up.. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (12 February 2010):
Honey we've ALL had crushes on a cute teacher at some point growing up, it's just sort of rite of passage I guess. The feelings for your teacher will go away in time. Just assure yourself it's normal and try to enjoy it :-) The great thing you learn when you get older is that you can just enjoy a crush knowing full well it won't ever lead to anything. Just try not to obsess about it and try to pay attn in class. :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 First off, I want to take away your anxiety about feeling so wrong about your feelings. If the age difference is what's got you down- that's not what you should feel bad about. My husband and I are 12 years apart.
HOWEVER! Your feelings for your teacher are inappropriate, and if you even try to act on them you will end up getting the poor guy into a LOT of trouble, even if he actively rejects your advances and tells you it's not okay. Crushes on teachers are pretty common. The problem is that he has the responsibility of caring for you on a daily basis. It is his responsibility to know where you are and what you're doing during this time- almost like a caregiver or parent. He is also in a position of power over you- he can tell you what to do, and most of the time you have to listen. He is also an adult and you are a minor. There are so many laws here waiting to be broken, I don't even know where to start.
Don't put this ethical dilemma on your teacher. Right now you have an infatuation, and that can feel great sometimes and terrible other times. Enjoy your emotions and enjoy it when they fade- but for everyone's sake, keep them to yourself. If you don't think you can, talking to a school counselor about it might help until your term is over and you can move on to another class.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): If u push further 4 a relationship, u could both be in trouble. He could be fired and sent 2 jail and u could be expelled from school. In a few years from now, u'll be wondering what was so special about him. the truth is that only time can cure ur feelings. Ride in there and hang on. Focus on new hobbies and relationships. All the best
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (12 February 2010):
 Trying to remove unwanted thoughts from our minds is a constant human battle. The best advice I have had on this is to replace the unwanted thought with a stronger positive thought. Music is very powerful in this way. Choose some strong music that doesn't make you think of him. Then when you see him hum the music in your head, this will distract your mind from him and help you control those flushes. In time you will get over this crush or infatuation, and move on to someone you find more acceptable.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): I am not sure what you can do other than try to ignore him. Flirt with other guys and maybe you will fall in love with someone your own age? I know how you feel, kinda, I was in love with an older guy when I was 14 and knew I could never ever have him because I was just a kid to him. It took me 2 years to get over him and my heart raced every time I saw him. So it's not easy, and I couldn't find a cure. Other than.. enjoy it? Its fun being in love, the feeling you get inside, the rush when you see him. Most crushes never end up in relationship, and you know you're not really in love with him, but the idea of him. I mean, you don't really know him beyond his teaching. So comfort yourself with that: it's a very superficial thing to be in love without really knowing the person, and that as long as you dont act out on it, other than casting glances, it's ok.
You could try ignore him though like I said, and look for someone else to like. Or find a new hobby that is soooo cool, that you wont be able to think of anything else. At least a new hobby can work as a good distraction to make the heartbreak easier to live with.
...............................
|
