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I want my wife to quit the escort job but she wont!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 May 2015)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i was put out of work for the last year because of an accident. the company i worked for did not have health insurance. our income was cut by 75% and my wife's job (waitress)paid very little. it soon became pretty desperate in our house. a customer of hers, a stripper from the local mens club, suggested she dance there. after some discussion, we decided it would be alright for a time. she tried it, but did not like being on display for all those men...she has privacy issues. she opted,instead, to go to an in-call escort agency one of the dancers worked at part time. we have had an open marriage and i am not jealous, but this struck me as too much. i was hoping to get disability payments and told her to wait. i was told i did not qualify. she went to the escort service and began working. she found that she enjoyed what she was doing and felt pretty comfortable there. after watching her carefully for a while, i felt that she really was happy there..she talked about it a lot and she seemed perkier and improved in morale. she works 10hrs, 5 days a week and is home by 7 every night. she has favorite customers that visit her regularly and often receives presents from them. she went from making 800.00 a month as a waitress to making over 4000.00 a month at the escort service. now i am pretty much recovered and am back to work...i make 3600.00 a month and feel she doesnt need to keep working. she has refused to quit. she said she likes what she is doing, that her sexual life is great(our sex at home is incredible), and she has a lot of friends there. she also said every dime we had to spare went for medical bills and she still needs to work until they're paid and we have a reasonable savings. i have been told that prostitution is addicting and women find it almost impossible to quit.

is this true and what should we do if she really doesnt want to quit or cant bring her self to quit. thanks for your help

View related questions: escort, jealous, stripper

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A male reader, grauhund United States +, writes (23 May 2015):

i thought it would be nice to update my original post. originally i was wanting my wife to stop escorting. i thought she had done a wonderful thing to become an escort to offset the money lost as a result of my accident at work. when i got back to work, i was surprised that she was so reluctant to quit. even after she explained her feelings, at first, i just couldn't see her point of view as to why she did not want to quit escorting. but, i quit trying to get her to quit after a long, long weekend of talking. it has been almost 8 years and she is still escorting. sometimes it gets to be a bit much and she takes time off. i once told her escorting can get addicting and she now agrees, but has a so what attitude about it. after a week or so break from escorting, she gets antsy and just has to get back into it. we are very well set up, financially. the college funds are up to date and our oldest girl is a freshman in high school. she feels proud of what she has accomplished. she has a 50% ownership in a pet shop and we own our house. she is still very sexy, very into everything sexual. she made a couple "amateur" porn movies on a trip to LA a few years back. we have a swing club we go to a couple of times a month. once, she talked me into a nude cruise. that was a blast. her sister found out about the escorting and instead of it becoming a problem, her sister wanted a referral. my sister in law escorted for a couple of years, met a guy, got married and quit escorting. nothing bad has occurred as a result of my wife's escorting. never arrested, never hurt. bored many times but never in any danger. sex wise, she always played it safe and always used protection with new clients. with regulars she trusts, she does go bareback. she has many regulars, in fact i would say almost 95% of her business is now with regulars. she has regulars that are in love with her and she gets over whelmed with presents and money on her birthday and at christmas. all in all, i got no complaints.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009):

I too am concerned with the poor compensation, like in everything else, peoples attitudes are that you get what you pay for.

If its something your OK with, go with it, if its going to compromise your relationship, then you need to both rethink things, and decide from there what you want to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

As along as feels safe there should be no problems, my wife worked as an escort for 8 yesrs and only quit recently so I quess I'm qualified to pass coment. I always drove my wife to her clients hotel or home, hotels mostly so I was at hand if needed, must admit it felt very strange at first watching my wife preparing for sex with another man, the first few months were I must admit very difficult for me when I seen my wife meeting a total stanager in a hotel foyer, kissing him and then making her way upstairs, but by reminding myself that it was business I soon got over this, of course my wife met some very attractive men whith she had "incredible sex" with, her words, but I lived with that, as she said "perks of the job" and it certainly improved our sex life, the money was very good also, we paid off our mortgage and had great holidays as often as we wanted. If you can live with the fact that your wife is having sex with other man and enjoying it you'll have no problems, it sounds as if she is like my wife witha high sex drive so it serves a duel purpose, good luck enyway.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

Your wife seems to be working too many hours for too little pay. You should ask why she's not making more. If she's a looker (HOT) she should be doing much better. The situation seems weird too. Almost as if she's waiting in some sleezy motel room for a knock on the door. My wife worked for a very descret agancy for about 5 years and was making about 20K+ a month while only seeing 2-3 men a week. Her agency paid by the night, not the hour. She rarely saw more than one guy a night. The night usually included dinner out, sex and a sleepover wasn't unheard of.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007):

i posted the original question and i want to thank you for the thoughtful answers...they helped. i had my wife read them and she felt you basically agreed with what she wants to do. we had a long heartfelt discussion and decided to let her continue to work as an escort. my wife told me that she didnt want to give up the job, especially give up the sex. she loves the attention she gets and says that she didnt want to stop having the variety of men she is enjoying. its hard to change your sex life after you had been having it regularly in a particular way. she likes getting paid for having sex. my wife tells me she has an average of 2 or 3 customers each day, one day she actually had 6. she cums with about half of them, usually the first one or two of the day. she said that most of the escorts are married or have a steady boyfriend. she hears little about problems with their relationships, but she usually spends the time she doesnt have customers reading or answering the phone. she wants to work for at least the next several years, maybe up to 8-10 if she decides to take time off to have kids. so that is where we are now, i am not so worried about her since we have talked. she seems pretty comfortable with what she is doing. she said that they have security there and screen everybody, so not to worry.

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A female reader, Emmajane United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2007):

Emmajane agony auntI can imagine how you feel, my guy was the same when I started escorting. However I was working 2-3 evenings a week, not daytime, and sometimes it was overnight which is rather different to what you describe.

It's true it can become addictive. The money, the variety, the new friends and the sex. Yes, the sex. It's simply not true that girls hate this, it can be good. But you say you have a great relationship and no jealousy, so why not let her continue? At least while she's young enough

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (23 September 2007):

fishdish agony auntI don't know much about the prostitution or escort business but I think as long as she can be safe [and it sounds like since it's a daytime job, unless she spends the whole time in hotels, she has the capacity to be safe] and as long as you stay on your belief on an open marriage, that she should be able to stay as long as she wants. she enjoys it, or at least, she has a confidence/emotional boost from it, and it isn't negatively impacting your sex life. it sounds to me more like you're uncomfortable with it, which makes me think that maybe you really DON'T like the idea of an open marriage, in which case i think you'd better reevaluate how you'd like to live with your wife [exclusively or not, that is] and talk to her about it if your thoughts on the subject have changed.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007):

Yup, I was working in escort service too. My collegue for the university was too, so i said to give a try. I must admit as a female(this doesnt have to be applicable for every, but i think for most yes) that is hard to quit, even if given the benefit of decision to do so. Im quite well off-, i was also before starting, so it was not becouse of any financical difficulties(my parents had given my quite lot funds for my styding). But it feel good, it is good, you re given attention, and ur beauty and effort u put on urself is appropriately awarded. So that is the reason. Apart from having a good time, having lots of fun(that is just my experience) one get money, nice presents, meet a lot of people and i must admitt is hard to quit. One may be more or less inclined to such stuffs, i guess i was much and enjoyed. I quieted temporalily,just to focus on my studies and now i have Bf qho loves me and pays me attention on different way (in no monetary way) and as the time goes 9almost 4 months) i have become more and more unsatisfied.

So it is kind of life and treatment that is tepmting and gives you lots of benefit , thats way many women find hard to quit it. I dont know what to answer or suggest you, but maybe my personal experience can give you insight of the matters. Simply, Once you are in Escort you get accustomied to such treatment (i dont know for USA, but in Europe u get treatment like a real lady ) and after one find it difficult to accostume on other way. It consumes you!

In this case, i dont see reason why you need her to quit the escort, my suggestion is to let her enjoy till she wants, no moral trubles at all, she is and will be with you in future if she loves you.

good luck

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