A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really luv him lyk anything...but thatz not all...he is being 11 yrs elder to me..and am now 18.We met through net..chatted..been friends for long.... shared our pics and slowly got intimate...and fell for each other..We even decided to marry each other..he was once very happy as he never had to loose me.......But...dont know wat happened to him suddenly that he tried to make me realise many times that this can't happen ...coz he and me..we both have to face tremendous problem if we go against our parent's wish...well i cud go to ne extent fo reaching him....but now he thinks that being 11 yrs younger to him will have lots of problem in a married life..if we get married that way....he even ws bugged off by my regular fights on small issues...I did fought with him badly...but i was only too possessive...as bcoz i was scared to loose him.....i cudnt se him talkin to other gals...thtz all.....Lately though.....i finally realised that i was simply more cunning than possesive....I used to call everyday ..evry moment..wenever i was free..even called him late night regularly...started by 12am and continued till 4 or 5...for which he even used to get late for his office and got to hear manyy scoldings from his boss...he told me many times...he fought with me for being so selfish that way...but who knows the only thing i actually did is...didn't spend even a single minute without speaking to him....I Know it is really too much...but den this i never felt earlier. ..reason being i didnt think of nething else except him...I was totally lost and mad for him...and already by the time he ws fed up by my behaviour....I tried to explain him that i was sorry for all that i have done..and promised to never do it again....i told him that give me a last chance this time and i will change myself completely....i promised and so did i change maself...but he has the same which he had few months back....ya he did leave me until now...annd even have started searching for a girl2 marry with..n hez gonna marry by next year..I stil talk to him on fone..regulary tht too but not the way as i did b4..am trying harder and harder to reach him...and make him feel that i'll can mmake him happy in evryway if he wud be mine..I was ofcourse very upset when he broke up with me...I told him many times not to leave me...but he didnt want to change and was done with his mind........I even told him that am goin to meet him very soon...I still love him that much as i did earlier..infact more then that...but am am afraid to show it to him..We hadn't meet earlier....so i want to give him a surprise meet this time.....i shall get him back or not....i don't know that..but tell me one thing.....can things change if i meet him that way...will he feel for me the way which he never did before....??I really don't know wat to do....please help me out of this circle.orelse i'll be of noway.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): I'd say let it go. When a man loves you (or likes you a lot) then he will really make an effort to be with you. If he's not making that effort, he has moved on. Let it go. You are young and have a lot of time ahead of you - and lots of good men are out there.
Settle it in your heart that it is over. If you go over there, even if he is open to you visiting him, it will probably just be a hook up. It won't be a relationship. You will also lose respect in his eyes. Just chalk it up to it being an experience and move on.
A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (3 June 2008):
Things can change if you meet - though probably they will change badly. Men don't like surprises nearly as much as women do, and you are likely to embarrass him with family and maybe others. It sounds as though he really wants to avoid getting too close to you, so let it be for now if you can.
Anything could change, but the odds are against you, and it's likely to make a bad situation much worse.
I know it's terribly hard to do - especially at your age. 11 years as an age gap is not much in the long run, though it may seem so now. The bigger problem is that he just doesn't seem interested and may have met someone already. The family approval requirement in your culture is also something to deal with carefully. Good luck.
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