A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I don't think my husband cares for me much. I know he loves me but I don't think he was ever in love with me. We've never had that ultimate passion of butterflies and sparks, we've always been good together but it was more like best friends who happen to be married and are sleeping together. We don't have kids and we are just about connected at the hip but, I've never felt he really cared for me. I love him more than anything and can't imagine life without him. He gets jealous if I'm reading a book or on the computer and not right at his side. I don't want him thinking he's second in my life I just want this whole passive aggressive stuff he's doing to stop and I want him to KNOW that I love him, I need and want him and I wish he felt the same about me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): Love is not about butterflies in the stomach. Love is two best friends who are married and sleeping together. Love is a verb not a noun. Love is about commitment, which you two have made by getting married.
You don't mention any behaviors that indicate your husband is passive agressive. If that is the case it is pretty impossible to change him, but you can learn how to deal with him. Try this article out.
http://www.angriesout.com/couples8.htm
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): hi, i'm currently in a similar situation with my boyfriend, although his behaviour is a little bit more extreme. i'm at university and he gets jealous when i go to the library to do work and needs to ask me loads of question when i get back and its all because he doesn't trust me. could it be the same for your husband, that he doesn't trust you? it could also maybe be because he knows your relationship does not have alot of passion and feels that it something you want and is scared of you leaving him. However it is most likely that he just likes to have to attention and likes to feel the most important to you.
However, he cannot expect you to constantly be by he side. Explain to him how much you love him, but you have other interest too, like reading. I'm sure he like to watch sports doesn't he? and i'm sure he doesn't require your presence when he does. try to make him see things from your point of view. unfortunately some people do naturally require a great deal of attention despite the fact that this is unhealthy for the relationship. If, once you have spoken to your husband, things don't get better, then counseling could be an option. More so for him rather than you, in order for him to explore the issues as to why he is behaving like this. This should help him to then come to terms with things or at least learn how to deal with this aspect of his character.
i hope things work out for you
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