A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:everyone i meet say am really sweet, friendly and caring.. ive been single for 14 months and ive had 8 guys come my way and they ALL WANTED SEX:( and off course i didn't give in all these guys have disappeared..cos i want relationship +sex not just sex!!the thing is guys think am cute and sexy and i get alot of guys but they just want me for sex:( this really hurt.I DONT DRESS SLUTT.Y or meet guys at bars or clubs!!ive lost faith in love..am starting to think love doesn't exist:( and every time this happens.. i just lose hope that one day i will ever find a nice guy who wants me for me..u knw a good guy i can love and who would love me back:(this is really getting to me..i have friends but i just want a guy to kiss and cuddle:( i feel soo alone:(omg am crying as i type this:(HUGSthnx...xx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): Do you have guy friends from childhood? try being good friends to those guys and they'll grow to love you for who you are :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010):
The guys who are most assertive at approaching women are disproportionately looking for easy no-commitment sex. It's a shotgun approach, just throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.
Guys who are looking for something more serious are probably also less likely to be making passes at lots of girls. That's why they SEEM so rare. But they are not really that rare even at your age.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Looking for a good b/f is like looking for a needle in a haystack but keep looking anyway.
The man of your dreams could be standing right in front of you.
Maybe, God has bigger things for you.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Your idea is true, that you want sex with love, and not sex without love. I wish...if my wishing has some cultural meaning, that every one should have the same type of desire, you have.
You can have your soul mate with your condition. You should search amongst people of rational commitment. Most people have no idea about unity, integrity, and honesty is the reason, girl like you feel 'disappointment.'
You have all my best luck.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 The best way to meet good guys is through a common interest - a hobby e.g. gym, church, join a band or dance or sport, voluntary work. You will get to know them as friends first. This is always the best way for relationships to develop. Meeting someone on the street or on the internet hardly works and there tends not to be a grounding.
try it.
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A
male
reader, realman  +, writes (21 February 2010):
Trust me frist. I can say not every boy you will meet is just like it. even it happened, it's not all, just few of them. don't lose your faith. to open your eyes bigger, you will find the best one for yourself. I look forward to your good message.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Trust me, not all men just think of the sex when they meet girls. To open your eyes bigger, find the best one for yourself. Difficulty can't scare you! I believe you can make it, You will own your happiness and welbeing!
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A
female
reader, leaGW  +, writes (21 February 2010):
hi. I've been single for 23 months and basically I have ran into the same problem as you. Alot of guys today are more focused on being sexually satisfied but there are good guys out there who genuinely want to be in relationships. So maybe you should be a little more opened minded in the type of guys you go for. Have patience and don't lose faith!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 February 2010):
 You've lost faith in love? First, let me ask you this, you said your physical characteristics these guys find appetizing, how do you feel about yourself. Deep inside, the self love or intimacy you hold true? The way you feel about yourself is important in finding the right guy. Why? It is true that like "being" attracts like "being." What else I'd recommend is reviewing where you meet these guys with the one thing on their mind. Chances are, if that's where most of them arise, that's all you're gong to find there. There are people that you're looking for out there, you just need to change where you're looking to find one. It's not always immediate, but the more you turn away sex, start looking in the right places, and enjoying life without expecting to find that one, you'll be surprised how you might just bump into him, and your life will change.
I hope this helps take care.
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A
male
reader, Careing_Jayoul +, writes (21 February 2010):
Hi,
Sorry to read about this and I hope your feeling better. Dont let it get you down, easy to say but its true.
Okay first off these guys are actually doing you a favour, yes thats right a FAVOUR and you know why? because they are sewer rats that have NO respect for women and see them merely as sexual objects for their own desires and often can only last a few minutes in bed anyway and have poor bedroom skills .. are you really missing anything with these specimens? no.
The favour they have done for you is that later down the road if you had have gotten involved is your heart broken, used for sex or worse still caught an STD as no dought they drift into several directions with other women, or try to at least.
I'm in a similar predicament and have been single for .. GET THIS 2 years now! Yeah I have been wanting to get a relashionship going but the women I find just want casual stuff, not just sex but nothing complicated and so it all just fizzes out and that annoys me, like yourself I want a girl to love, care for and cuddle.
Oneday I will find her but let me say it doesn't come overnight and that old saying ''The best things come to those who wait'' is true, it really is but we dont see it at first but in time it happens.
Love exists and is real, so don't let those rats pee down all over it. Love is special, you will know love when it hits you take it from me and at the moment you need to concentrate on meeting the RIGHT people by mixing in perhaps a different circle and by that I mean going to different places to meet people, note how I worded that ... PEOPLE and not guys because we often try too hard and it doesn't work, so go to different places such as a fancy wine bar even for example with a friend and just enjoy it and who knows you may meet a guy that is different in that circle.
I'm a male and in my early twenties and know what some men think like and they do often see a young good-looking girl as just something to have sex with, sorry but some guys see it like that and it gives us all a bad name.
They cant control their sex drive and have no morals either and think because your attractive that you will just go with them for the sake of it.
Its also the same when the coin is flipped over for men like me with regards to women but they don't see the sex as much, often other things such as power, status etc but I wont get into those here.
To summarise hun, I would suggest you don't try as hard to meet a guy and try to mix in different circles where you feel you could meet the type of guy you like. For example a well educated gentleman wont be slumming it in a back alley night club but be in a swanky bar somewhere, just a loose example but sure you catch my drift.
Dont get upset about being single either because its good at times as you can LEARN from watching others and seeing how the game works.
In time you will meet the right man who will see you for what you are inside and hit it off with you, not for what you look like, albeit physical attraction is important, he will want you for what you are and offer. This cant be found overnight I'm afraid and takes time.
Persevere and have faith.
Hope I've helped.
Take care, play hard and be safe
Jay
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Well, it is tough, but you have to be tough.
I had the same problem.
Just be patient and don't fall into it. Date them, but don't have sex with them until you become friends. That way you will develop the emotional bond before the sex.
Courtship is a game. You have to learn how to play it. You can't cry about it your whole life. Just play and play smart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): All I can say is that there are definitely guys out there who want the same things you do. I can't relate to your situation being a guy and not getting much attention from girls, but I can say that your words really made an impression on me, because I also want to find a girl to love and enjoy a real relationship with, not just sex. Don't give up, those guys are out there! Just be sure to try to get to know the all guys you come across, and maybe you'll end up finding one that's extra special that you might never have guessed. I think it will work out for you in the end :)
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