A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband got married only last year but we've been boyfriend and girlfriend for more than 6 years and decided to get married.Now i want to have a baby bcoz Iam in the right age right now his younger than me,i am very upset with him until now he don't like to have baby,every time i ask him he always answer that we don't have savings how can we have baby?is this valid reason?we both have job and can save money as we want.but he always insist no saving!!and ok nest month we will make..i am really disappointed with him his not serious about my feeling?what will i tell him to convince i want to have baby desperately=(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I was ask to ask as many as,I can about this.I want to have a baby for some good couple.I have two boys and me there father can't have anymore with each other.I want to atleast carry baby.I might of found a couple but they want me to have sex.I was ok with this and the father is not.The male wants to do it everday for a month.The women was ok with this as long as I have the baby for them.let me know at [email address blocked]
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for all the answer's.it really help me a lot to relieved the burden in my heart..GOD BLESS and merry x-mas to all..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for all the answer's.it really help me a lot to relieved the burden in my heart..GOD BLESS and merry x-mas to all..
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Remember it's about cashflow, you will be bringing a child up for many years.
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (22 December 2009):
Money means nothing here neither does savings. With babies/children it's more about cashflow and financial security, yes initially it costs a little more but should not be such a financial burden in any case. If your cashflow is right then you will be just fine.
You could always be naughty and have one and just don't tell him untill your sure you are pregnant, this way it's a surprise. This is also the way it's been done for thousands of years... Nothing beats the element of surprise.
Otherwise you husband will always be saying "not enough savings" and all of a sudden it will be harder.
:)
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Well, the more desperate you are to have a baby, the more likely your husband is to back off, unfortunately. Did you and he talk about your thoughts and wishes about starting a family before you got married? Its important to find out where you stand before you tie the knot!
My only other comment is that yes, babies are very expensive and will be for years to come. You do need to have some savings built up - unless your joint salaries are enough to pay expenses as you go. Even if you are making good money, you still have to think whether you want to stop working for a time after the birth, or whether you will have to return to your job after maternity leave, to earn enough to help cover all the costs involved.
You need to sit down and talk calmly and rationally about this with him, and to consider things from his perspective.
You are 29. You still have some good years ahead of you to get pregnant! You don't have to rush into it - even though you feel you've been waiting a long time!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): I don't have kids myself, but I have plenty of friends and family who I am very close to that have been in your boat.
I will tell you that if the finances are not there BEFORE having a baby, it will put SO much stress on your relationship with him that you'll marriage will be at risk.
One for one, every person I know that had kids too early in their marriage without the funds, the right housing, etc. are divorced now. I can think of only 1 couple out of ten that are still together, and they just got married in June, so that's not accounting for much.
What he's doing is actually very sweet. He's looking at the long term, not the right now. Couples that I know that have been together for years who waited till they were ready (including my sister who had her kids at 36 and 38) are happy as they ever could be. They have what they wanted and they also had additional time to just be with each other and take trips and spend the money on creating the whole dynamic together and not on diapers and daycare.
Just something to think about. I don't think you need to plan too crazy about having a baby, it should happen when it happens. But it's nothing to be angry about with him at all.
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