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I use the term 'make love' and he uses 'f*ck'! What are your views on this?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2009)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

In need of some answers/advice my boyfriend and i have been together for more than two years .

His made a few kinky suggestions b4 and we tried anal but never got any where as it really hurt and he promised not again will we try. Well just yesterday he said if i want him to make love to me i must ask nicely and say baby can u pls fuck me , what does he think i'm his skanky h*# well i told he should no his job and why must u ask for it besides it should just happen, so i also told him his made bad for himself coz i won't give him any until he asks nicely , beside's i think if he can't do me i should get someone else to relief my sexual tensions .

I always thought we made love and i hate the word fuck , has anyone out there got a different view on this ?

or should i ignore the ugly words and get use to being his bi*ch?

Thank u all aunt's and uncles in advance.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009):

I think it depends personally on the mood. If your not enjoying what he is saying and asking you to do , tell him to stop. If he doesn't listen then he obviously isn't worth it, as if he loved you he would understand you prefere to say ' making love', then being fucked and being his bitch.

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A female reader, MistressNataliee United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2009):

Its probably just a fantasy of f**king a "dirty whore", my boyf has one yet treats me like a princess, i totally agree with Honeypie, girls and boys call things different things. Also depends what kind of mood youre in. For example if youre in a passionate one itll be "f*ck" or if youre in a romantic mood itll be "make love". I wouldnt worry too much love.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009):

If it bugs you, just tell him you'd rather he didn't say those things!

But your question 'should i ignore the ugly words and get use to being his bi*ch?' at least indicates you're open to maybe relaxing your position on the issue.

The first person I slept with - apart from being totally animal in bed - had (and still has) a tendency to call me all kinds of names during sex ('kinky slut', 'whore' etc.) At first, it bothered me. Felt slightly insulted, cheapened, degraded, humiliated - I loved the sex too much to give it up, but was a bit hurt by the name-calling.

But in time, I grew to totally love it and embrace it. We get on well, and I realised there was no harm, no hatred or malice or hostility in it - just him enjoying being in the moment.

Being called a 'red-hot kinky little bitch' at intimate moments adds an extra sexual dynamic which is intended to enhance and heighten the thrill - brilliant, if you both get off on it. Not good, if it's part of a pattern of abuse within a relationship. But if you're together two years, I have to assume it's otherwise going pretty well.

See if you can get more comfortable with it. And if not, just ask him nicely to stop calling you those names. Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 July 2009):

Honeypie agony auntIt's really simple.. Most guys F*ck and most women "make love".

Some guys ( and gals) just want the physical connection of sex others ( more often women) wants an emotional connection AS well..

If you don't like to talk dirty or play his games - tell him.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (28 July 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntI think you need to talk to your bf about how you feel when in a relationship you have to compromise its a small sacrifice for him to say make love instead of the expletive.

"what does he think i'm his skanky h*#" What makes you feel this way, This does not sound like a healthy relationship, secondly you may be confusing the sexual aspect of your relationship with the emotional part. "dirty Talk" it used by some to enhance the sexual experience it can make one or both partners more aroused but either way it should be mutual but it doesnt mean your bf thinks of you as a skanky hoe.

The average man in my opinion wants both the skanky hoe and the church girl or "A Freak in the sheets but a lady on the streets" so its possible your bf is trying to live out some fantasy. Sex is physical for men but for women there tend to be emotions tied to it if your feeling uncomfortable by your bf and the way he describes your sexual activities you need to confront him. you shouldnt be sleeping with anyone you cant sit down and have a serious talk with.

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