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I took a relationship break, my ex's best friend is a girl who talks nastily about me now, though she doesn't know me.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 September 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 September 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *issprinsess2u writes:

my ex boyfriend and i took a break because all we would do was argue we couldnt communicate with eachother, his best friend is a girl and today i look at her away message and it said "leave her she is not good for u, u want her so bad but behind her pretty brown eyes she is not only looking at u" i take that against me, this girl to me is immature and just likes my ex bf,

i dont know what to do anymore he says he loves her like a little sistter so he listens to everything she says ive seen her only twice as hi and bye, she doesn't even know me she only knows my name and what i look like what do i do?

what can i do to get her off our case, she does not let us breathe all she does and is talk trash and shes two years younger then us how can i get my boyfriend to not listen or to see that she dosent know me that she is talking basically out of her $$$ please help i need advice

View related questions: a break, best friend, immature, my ex

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A reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (11 September 2007):

I Dont Lie agony auntI dont think you should be worried about your ex's friend talking bad about you behind your back, in fact, the one you should be casting your doubts upon should be your ex himself. There is no way in the world that this friend of his will be talking trash about you if your ex did not initiate it himself. She does not know you personally, so where do you think she's gotten her negative views from?

Here's whats actually happening. Your ex (and you) wasnt happy in the relationship as there were lots of bickering. He must've poured his heart out to this friend of his and probably even said some not so nice things about you. Being a friend of his, what did you think she was going to do? Of course she was going to support him, it might not be the right thing to do (talk bad about someone she doesnt know) but thats such a natural thing to do. Ok, she probably might have feelings for him as you suspected, but that alone wouldnt make your boyfriend agree to the breakup if he didnt already made his mind up in the first place.

I suggest moving on and taking it easy with this friend of his. Im sure once he stops talking about you behind your back, she'd stop talking too. It seems that you still wish to get back with him (seeing how you still care about what he thinks about you), if that is so, I think you should be focusing on how to lessen the arguments in the event that you guys do get back together, rather than worrying about what his friend has to say about you. Dont let it get to you, and remember, it takes two to tango, she wouldnt be able to influence his thoughts on you if he doesnt allow it to happen! Good luck.

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