A
male
age
30-35,
*reenTea
writes:I finally told her how I felt...I sat her down and told her that our friendship meant so much to me, and that I would never do anything that I knew would hurt it. I told her that I know she has a boyfriend and I respect him and their relationship more than she knows. I asked her if we she could ever see us as more than friends? I said "I'm not asking you to dump him. But the last few weeks(1.5months) i've been acting as more than a friend. And I want to know if I'm permenetly a friend forever, or if she could see us together one day, as a couple.She said she didn't know how to answer that. So I gave her some time to think about it.And thats where it stands.If she doesn't answer me do I confront her for an answer? I'm tired of this game. Or if she doesn't answer do I just put a bunch of space between us. and either it will die or she will realize that she wants me in her life.Oh what do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GreenTea +, writes (2 December 2007):
GreenTea is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know the boundaries and I make a concerted effort to not cross them. I know that nothing good would come long term.
We went through the same thing earlier this year when she had no boy friends. And I really did get over her. But lo and behold I fell for her again. I'm not sure if its possible for me to just be a friend to her. I feel I will always want more.
And it wasn't a total shock to her, she definitely knew how I felt. It's hard to explain, but she knew I had feelings for her even though I had never outright shown them to her in any real cross the boundary with her bf kind of way.
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Well its sort of a shocking news that slaps us right in the face when we find out our closest friends have deep feelings for us.Put yourself in her position and try to understand her. This is a major shock for her so dont rush her into giving you and answer. You told her you would give her time so do just that. LEt her come up to you when she feels ready. Dont let this break up your friendship though. If she really means that much to you then you would respect and support her in any decision she makes. Dont let this get in between your friendship. Show her you will laways be there for her no matter what her answer would be because im sure it would break her heart if a good friendship such as yours would fade away due to the fact if she doesnt decide to feel the same as you do. Stay friends although friends do hav certain boundaries so try not cross them. Have respect for her, yourself, and her boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, auvi  +, writes (2 December 2007):
is it really a game ?
first of all, she has a boyfriend. so she has her every right to refuse a proposal from another guy. and yes, she also has a right not to give an answer at all. so accept the facts. it would be better to stay only as a friend... maybe best friend .. and bid on your time.
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