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I thought I'd finally met a great guy; now I'm not so sure

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2013)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok I met this guy on a chatline, and he we texted and then he called me and told me that he would provide for me,love me,care for me, and would want to eventually marry me but he works as a tow truck driver. whenever i text him he always tells me that he is busy and he seems distant. I have tried calling him but always get his voicemail. At first i got my hopes up thinking that i finally met a great guy but now I am not so sure anymore. Is he just really busy with work or is he just blowing me off and not interested, and trying not to hurt my feelings? He also said that he will have a week off around the 1st of February and that he might come and see me but when i asked him about it he didn't reply to my text. He also suggested i should wait to make an appointment for massage which is medically necessary because i have problems with my right shoulder - i guess because he wants to help me out with the cost. however i am just so confused right now. any help or advice would be greatly appreciated

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2013):

you are getting scammed. A man (or women) who professes their love to someone they have not actually met is living in a world of fantasy, not reality.

This guy is feeding you what you want to hear, yet when it comes down to actually meeting in person, it doesn't happen.

Try meeting people in person, you will have a much better result in finding a real person who you could fall in love with. Not words on a computer screen or a text message.

If someone is really interested in meeting in person, they will do so within a week or two of contact...not dragging out endless typing/texting conversations with a total stranger. Be careful, you are leaving yourself very vulnerable to all kinds of creeps out there.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (28 January 2013):

It sounds to me like you're moving way too fast which is why you got yourself into trouble.

If you had been treating this situation exactly like what it is (you've been chatting with a guy online) then you wouldn't be confused or hurt.

Instead you've been imagining a future and filling your head with a fantasy romance with a guy who you don't even know.

Take things slooooow and you'll find yourself to be a lot happier. Also, don't rush into thinking about a future with someone you don't even know. Just take your time getting to know each other and let things work themselves out at a natural pace.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (27 January 2013):

janniepeg agony auntYou just chatted with this guy. You have never met in person and he wants to marry you. He is dreaming. Envision him being your husband. He is not prompt with replies, he is always busy and is not serious with his words. He wants to see you on his terms, even if it means you don't get the massage you need. Waiting times in clinics can be ridiculous. You don't want to marry this guy anyway. Just saying he wants to get married eventually does not make one a great guy. You took everything he said literally. In the online dating world, anything goes. He didn't say he will keep in touch every day, did he? He said marriage eventually so it could mean eons away. What does tow truck driving have to do with not being ready for marriage? I can see cross country drivers not wanting to get tied down, not wanting to be missed.

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