A
female
age
36-40,
*uChaFuCknLaDy
writes:Dilemma, HUGE!~!~!~!~I'm kind of on the youngin side at 20 years and never before have I cared to pursue a serious relationship. However some months back, at the start of this year, I met a man who had everything to offer at first glance and wanted an exclusive relationship with me. I've been used to dealing with men significantly my senior whom are heavy in the street game. And he is again a dope boy who has me by about 10 years. Has a condo in downtown Chicago another one down in Miami, about 4 different cars only two kids a girl and a boy almost teenaged in a short is well off. Needs nothing from me financially and treats me good. I have a run of the mill 9-5 and I make it my business not to require this man to support me. Not have him feel like I only want him because of what he can do for me. But I think he only wants me as a trophy so that he can spoil me, have me to his self while I cater to him hand and foot. Not like a man's woman like a slave. Also I believe that he is entertaining a relationship with his daughter's mother. We don't know any people mutually and I haven't introduced him to anyone in my family because he makes it impossible for me to even be seen with him in what I consider a lifestyle that is designed to fulfill as a sick little dog. Does he love me? Does he love me not? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): So tell me, if you two are broken up, are you both moving toward a renewed reconciliation or are you simply trying to find closure and understanding with the 'rehearsed' answer, he has given you? It might help if you told us, what this answer is, that he gives you when you ask him if what he feels is 'pure love' for you. One other thing, call me a bit out of the loop here, but what did you mean when you said, 'he was heavy in the street game and he is again a dope boy'??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Hi--Dump him. Just cut it off immediately. You can find someone who will treat you like a queen, I promise. If he is for real, he will come around and modify his behavior. Or, more likely, he is not for real, and you will be better off without him. Dump him and keep yourself busy. Learn to knit. Go for long walks. Go drink coffee at the cafe. Go to a movie. Go look for new and inexpensive outfits at the thrift store. Get a cat. Go to the library and browse in the nonfiction section. There are so many more things you could be doing than wasting your time with him. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, SuChaFuCknLaDy +, writes (18 September 2007):
SuChaFuCknLaDy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Everything you're saying makes complete sense to me and we have been broken up since he gave me that last piece of info about sleeping with his daughter's mother it's just hard to include every piece of detail. What you don't seem to understand is that these are my own conclusions about why we don't know each other well enough and what his motives are for being with me. What if I told you that I ask him over and over "what it is about me that you love and want as a part of your life on a long term basis?"? I wonder this because he doesn't need me so the only thing left is that he wants me in some fashion and I wonder if it is pure love for me. Each time I ask him this if he gives me an answer it sounds rehearsed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Let's see here. He makes it impossible for you to be seen with him...and you have indicators that he's considering a relationship with his daughter's Mother...he makes you feel like a trophy...and wants you to cater to him hand and foot...and you feel like a slave. And you ask...does he love me? This is clearly an unbalanced relationship and no, this man does not love you in the most decent, respectful way because any man who treats you this is NOT respecting you. If you like the pampering and the good life, no one can tell you to leave but sometimes in relationships like this, when one partner has the cash and the homes, the other partner pays a big price in that she feels like she has to tolerate being mistreated in order to have all these amenities. You mention you do not require this...so by not tolerating his behaviors, you really have nothing to lose if you tell him to stop doing this to you. You might even gain his respect if you were to let him know you, yourself-have self-respect. But if you enjoy being treated like this and continue pandering him, this is your decision. It won't get you his love. For most of us gals...we would not put up with this. We would be setting clear boundaries or walking away. No man is worth giving up your self-respect, to accomodate his every whim. It's your choice...make the healthiest one.
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