A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am a young man from Germany who is in a long-distance relationship with a Brazilian girl from Brazil. We met 4 years ago, over the internet. I visited her the first time 3 years ago and since then we were in a long-ass-distance relationship.I am currently studying, as is she and we were planning on her coming to Germany eventually when she is finished studying (she will be done in 2 years). As of late however, I am feeling an extreme lack of physical attention and it is really making me sad that I can't just go and be with her without taking a 14-hour plane ride.I have visited her 5 times in the past, amounting to a total of approximately 5 months together. She has visited me once last year. The last time I was there was in December/January.I bought the ticket a few months back to go to her again this summer for a month, but in the past weeks I have been feeling extremely saddened by the fact that I will have to leave her again and be without her. I have even considered breaking up with her so we can get on with our lives. I don't want to go to her tomorrow only to repeat the same cycle again and I am noticing that this time around I won't be able to hold out as long as I did the other times. It hurts a lot that I have to be so far from the person I love and it hurts even more that I feel the need to break up with her but I feel that ultimately it will be better for both of us, rather than us hanging on to a relationship that is no relationship at all.I just wanted help to know if I should really break it off one day before I was planning to go to her, or enjoy our (in my view) last trip together and then break it off before I leave again. On the one hand, I don't want to let her hopes down and have her sad that I won't come, on the other hand I don't want her to feel used for when I go there only to go and break up. Either way, our hearts will be broken. Help me out. Thanks.
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female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 I think it will be better if you break up with her now. You know you are going to break up with her so it is not fair to lead her on. Especially if you go there and last minute break up. Write her a e-mail now explaining everything.
Good Luck!
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