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I think I have feelings for my best friend but I don't want to tell him incase he doesn't feel the same

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My best friend (of 2 years) and I have been talking for a long while about his past relationships and I have decided that I dont think anyone would be good enough for him. Im not sure why, I would be happy for him if he got another partner as he would be happy with them. (I told him that and told him Id tell him the other part when it was the right time). I think I have feelings for him and am just a little scared to tell him incase he doesnt feel the same and that it may ruin our friendship. I would prefer not to let him know how I feel than for that to happen. Does anyone have any advice please :)

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A female reader, Shalita Uganda +, writes (26 July 2007):

You could be right, a first step is always difficult, I suggest you ask the question in a joking way and see the reaction. If the answer is No, just forget and continue your friendship, good lovers come out of good friends. Take the step.

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A female reader, TaylorChu United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

TaylorChu agony auntI told my best friend of two years that I loved him and admired the man he was. He gave me his answer and asked how I felt about it. Of course I wanted to be his girlfriend but because he didnt have feelings for me I wasnt going to drop the friendship. Fast forward to the present, because I was open with him I have had the best friendship I could ever experience with a person. There are no walls between us. We discuss everything no matter how mundane or personal it may be. And we are still friends. Because I took a step and was flat out honest or entire friendship has been stronger, purer and more exciting than ever. True I didnt get my man but I have a friend who wont withhold anything from me.

How does this help you? Tell him how you feel. And after getting your answer from him BOTH of you decide that your friendship will always remain. Keep the friendship as your foundation. I hope he sees the beauty in you and says he has the same feelings but if he doesnt tell him that you refuse to let your friendship get weird and die because it will cause you to miss out on such a wonderful thing in life.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (25 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntIf you value the friendship so much, to the point of not wanting to lose it, I suggest you don't say anything. But, what if he fancies you? I think you should maintain the friendship and maybe make it notch better. If he responds, with time you will be able to hint a bit more, and avoid losing the friendship. or any embarrassment, if he won't respond.

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