A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Need a little advice. I had a liason with a married man that lasted about a month. There was no sex but close enough and I thought there was a bond. Every part of me new not to do it but I had gone through a terrible break up and felt vulnerable. The liason ended ubruptly with no explanation. Though we still hung out all the time. We eventually did talk about it and resolved that we were better friends. I was happy with that. But he doesn't seem to want to hang out like he did before.The problem I am having now (I think it may be an offshoot of my previous break up) is that I am upset because I worry he found someone else. I know he is close to someone he met online. I feel like he traded up. While also forgetting the fact he is married. I think about it all the time and don't want to become obssessed. Any tricks on how to get over this and how to deal with the fact that he may have moved on to someone better. For the record we work together so it is not as easy as not seeing him. Any pointers out there for a clearly stupid and desperate person. I just plain hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had gone through the break up was well over a year ago and I have stayed away from dating/relationships. I own that what I have done is not right. What I need is advice on how to get over this and not do it again. I question why I did this when before I never would have. Why I am so beaten up over the fact that he still does not want me. When in all reality I should be relieved and running in the opposite direction.While I may have given a "typical" female answer it is what I am feeling and is what I am living.Thank you for your response though and I agree that I need a more positive and productive hobby.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): hi, i understand women are much more emotional and that than men but i'm sorry but it's the same typical women's response.... "i had gone through a terrible breakup and felt vulnerable". who chose to get involved with this man? you did, why if you were involved in a serious breakup would you want to get involved with someone so soon after? why do women, after just having their heart broken (i'm presuming this by your tone), feel the best way to get over it is to go after another man. why not just give the relationship and dating scene a break for a while and spend some more time with friends/family? instead you choose to start a liaison with a married man! i'm taking it you had your heart broken in your previous relationship so your response was to go after a married man!!! just can't understand women and probably never will!anyway my advice to you would be to stay away from this bloke and take a break, take up a hobby or course or something and then meet someone that is of similar age and personality as you. best of luck.
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