A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't even know where to begin. After having a pretty crap year there was always 1 friend that was there for me and, though I know I don't love her, but I feel like I do. I think about her constantly and I practically kiss the ground she walks on. I know I'm a bit unstable in the head and haven't had a boyfriend for a little while now, but I really don't get why I can't just get her out of my head. She pisses me off a lot sometimes with her attitude and how she upsets my sister, but yet it hurts so much when I'm not with her or when she talks about how much she loves her boyfriend. I just can't get my act together and get over her. Either I'm all over her or I'm really angry with her. I'm just really desperate, I'm trying to move on with my life and I can't
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 The technical term of what you're dealing with is called "limerence", and it's the high-powered borderline obsessive emotionally strung feeling of desire towards someone else. You are susceptible because of your emotional state right now. In normal cases, limerance burns itself out in 2-3 years (just ask any married couple!).Ask yourself these questions:1. Would you feel this way towards her if you had a boyfriend?2. Is this feeling you have for her healthy and has a future?3. Why are you having feelings for someone who upsets your sister??? That's your sister! You won't get another one of those, but you WILL get a boyfriend if you want to.Who knows - maybe you could be gay/bi. You would do better to fall in love (or at least limerence ;)) with someone who cherishes you, not cops an attitude with you.Feelings are flighty things. By this time next year, you could be laughing at yourself for how far you went with this episode of limerence.
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