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age
51-59,
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writes: hi think my husband is having an affair with his old girl friend who he has a son with hes 21yrs,I did ask him and he said no way she phoned him to ask about advise on buying a house and he only phoned her 5or 6 times so he said, i found his phone bill and he has phoned her over 40 times when he leaves the house in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon he is such a good talker that you end up believing what he tells you but I have this bill, what do I do advise please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (28 October 2008):
 Hi,
Could you hire a private detective? Have a look on the internet at UK companies and see how much their rates are?
If there is something going on, they will find out for you. Hope not though! Take care, Hannah.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your reply but my husband is so good at lying you end up believing him, I dont know if I should phone her first and say my husband has told me everything (from his phone) he will not know, then say to my husband that I have phoned her and SHE has told me everything to see if I can get more info on them, I tryed phoning her son my stepson but he wont return my calls WHY he has no reason not to.
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A
male
reader, Arlo +, writes (28 October 2008):
 Unfortunately, the timing and the frequency of the calls suggests something other than advice on buying a house.
I think you need to challenge him with these facts - if he has a plausible explanation, I'd like to see him talk his way out of it.
Alternatively, you must therefore then have the old girlfriend's telephone number (from the bill). Give her a call and ask her what the score is.
At the very least you need peace of mind because there clearly is a mistrust issue going on here. One way or the other it needs to be dealt with and resolved. If he has nothing to hide and it IS all innocent, then at the very least you will get him to realise that he cannot hide information from you like this - relationships are all about openess and honesty which are the foundations of trust. If you take the openess and honesty away, then the foundations of the trust are already well worn down.
Unfortunately, there is no easy softly-softly approach to dealing with mistrust issues and the bull has to be taken firmly by the horns otherwise the rot will set in and the mistrust will breed resentment and further suspicion and eventually, it WILL go bang on you!
Good luck and I hope you get your answer, either way, hopefully with a good outcome for both of you :)
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