A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 and live with a guy I have been with for about a year. I never really wanted him to move in but his parents moved away last November and he had nowhere to go so it all seemed convenient at the time. We had been friends for about 6 years before so we share a lot of friends and I do like this, I also like him as a person and think he is 'one of the good guys'. BUT. I really don't love him, I cannot even bring myself to have sex with him - not because he is ugly but because there is just no spark. I still have a sex drive but not with him, to the point where he has started to suggest there might be something wrong with me and I have some counselling. There isn't anything wrong with me, I just don't want him! But it has all become so complicated as we are now financially entangled and he still has nowhere else to go. I don't want to lose his friendship or that of our mutual friends.Any ideas how I go about this one? I don't know whether to just sit tight and wait for the right time or take a sledgehammer to it all right away. I really don't feel I can talk to anyone I know about this as I don't want to betray or humiliate him, but at the moment the atmosphere in our house is so bad, I know I have to do something.
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male
reader, Dr. Strangelove  +, writes (13 April 2008):
Plan to move out, and let him know that at this point in your life, you do not feel like dating and living with someone. I don't know your exact situation, but maybe you can get your own apartment. If he lived with you, he can live with one of his friends. Don't wait for it to fix itself, you will probably just end up hating him for no reason. Don't say anything about not being attracted to him, that would be horrible....but let him know that you are not happy and need your own time and space.
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