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I slept with my g/f's mom! Do I tell her?

Tagged as: Cheating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 December 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2008)
A male Cuba age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been with my girlfriend for quite a long time now. but only last week, i slept with her mum. i regret it completely, we were both drunk and my girlfriend was too drunk to notice that we'd gone up stairs. should i be honest with my girlfriend, or should i not say anything and forget it ever happened?

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A female reader, lauren24 United States +, writes (18 December 2008):

i hate to judge, but how low can you get? shame on both of you!

if i were you, i would do one of two things..

#1. i would either break up with her and blame it on something completely unrelated (that you did wrong of course, don't you dare blame her for the break-up)


#2. i would partially come clean. sit down and talk to your gf, tell her you cheated on her and that it's best for the two of you to discontinue the relationship. don't tell her who you cheated with. if she asks, tell her it was some random bar whore and act as though it's all you know/remember. she will obviously be devastated, but in this case the relationship will be terminated with her having at least a small sense of dignity leftover.

continuing the relationship is only going to make you and her mother feel more guilty in the long run. i don't see how you could make a relationship work after something this drastic, after all, isn't she going to wonder why you act differently around her mother/avoid her mother or vice versa? unless you two are completely heartless the guilt will wear on both of you and she will suspect something eventually. i think this is the best way to end it.. all parties can move on with their lives in the easiest way possible. she won't have to know you cheated with her mother and maybe their relationship can be salvaged (there's obviously issues that need to be addressed on her mother's behalf, and these issues will never be solved w/ you in the picture, regardless of if she knows the truth or not). if her mother does decide to come clean one day, it will be her choice. just man up to your mistake and end this before the damage goes any further. you won't feel or look good in the situation either way, but you've already been selfish enough, now it's time to put your gf first and try and take some responsibility for your actions.

please do what is right.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

You can run away to Africa, or wherever you want, but you will neve escape the truth.

It will gnaw and gnaw at you until you will tell without control, everything.

Are you willing to live with that secret forevermore?

You hurt this girl no matter how you proceed. The bullet has been fired and now all that remains is to choose how long it takes to hit, because that bullet is coming as sure as the day. And the longer it takes, the more it will grow and harder it will hit and more painful it will be when it finally makes its mark.

If you have any hop of being forgiven at all, come clean now. Be honest. Admit your resonsibility in the act and do not cover up for the mother, admit her part too.

This will probably end your relationship, but if you choose to lie and hold it all in, then you are living on borrowed time anyway. Because the longer you lie and decieve you Girlfriend, the less chance you have of ever reconciling this.

Flynn 24

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

By telling your girlfriend you could be destroying a mother/daughter relationship for many years to come! I know, it happened to my daughter and I. I was 33, in a crazy part of my life! My house was a hang-out for all my daughters friends. One night my daughter (17) and her boyfriend (17) and I (33) were playing quarters and drinking. My daughter passed out and we continued drinking...I woke up the next morning, to the devastating reality that the worse thing possible had happened!

I don't even remember how My daughter found out, I may have told her I don't remember, I know the boy didn't tell her.

In any case it's been over 20 yrs and my daughter and I have a extremely strained relationship. The Boy? who knows whatever happened to him. But that night (and some other things) have put a wedge between her and I that I doubt will ever be removed. I have made so many attempts to make ammends to her. And at times, it seems as though progress has been made. And then out of the blue, she will get drunk, call me at curse me out incoherently! I can never take back what happened.

And in answering this I am more concerned with the mother/daughter relationship than anything else!

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (14 December 2008):

petina1 agony auntif you dont want to break up with y our g/f then you musnt tell her. You musnt ever be in her mothers company when you are drinking. Also let her mum know you are sorry, it wont happen again, you both don't want to hurt her daughter and hopefully you can both forget what happend. What kind of a mother is she anyway to do this anyway?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008):

I agree with everything Ginalolabridga has said! Don't hurt your girlfriend, her mom or yourself by revealing this to Anyone. I know you regret it and it is eating away at you. But to clear your conscience would mean total destruction! Nothing good will come out of it!

We've all done regretable things under the influence...learn from your experience and never repeat them! I have been in a similar experience...and I can tell you, the memories will fade!

Years ago I had a friend who had a tee-shirt that read...

Instant Asshole, Just add alcohol! I think most of us can relate to that!

Good Luck!

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