A
female
age
30-35,
*onnaBlume
writes:my bestfriend is a guy and we have always had a flirty kind of relationship. well one night we got totally shithoused and we ended up having sex, nothing was strange about the whole thing we didnt bring it up at all, all of our friends kept asking what was with us and neither one of us said anything. well like 2 weeks after the first time and it happened again but this time we were sober. so we have been hanging out all the time he is staying at my house alot more sleeping in my bed and stuff every one keeps telling me that he likes me and all jazz but for some reason i would think that if he liked me so much he would have asked me out already right? and should i talk to him about the whole situation?????? he is my bestfriend and all and i dont wnat to mess things up!!!!what do i doooo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): I can see that you have a good grasp on this. Things naturally happened between you two. If love is to come into your relationship, it would happen naturally too. If you have feelings for him, you tell him that. Or if you want the sexual encounters to stop unless he will be your boyfriend, tell him that as well. But dont do stuff becoz others tell you stuff. Let things take its natural course. That way you atleast wont lose the beautiful relationship you have now.
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 I tend to stay away from relationships like this, not wanting to rain on your parade at all, but I've had serious relationships with 2 guys I had been friends with for quite a long time (6 years and 12 years). Both started out as a friendly flirty drunken type thing, progressed to "friends with benefits", which led to a relationship. Being best friends with a guy is very different to having him as your boyfriend. Needless to say, both relationships broke up, one was amicable and we still speak now and then, the other one turned totally sour, gave me 6 months of hell, and really showed a nasty streak I had no idea existed in him.
In your case it sounds like he's either shy asking you out, scared to ruin the friendship, or just looking for a friend with benefits...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I was friends with this girl for about a year, and one night she was a little tipsy. she called me to ask me what i was up to and told her not much and she asked me if I could pick her up. I brought her home and we started talking as the friends we were and before we realised we were having sex. when the sun came up the next day, she sobered up and she started to flip out because we were both naked. then I tried to calm her down and she did, I started rubbing my leg on her and we ended up doing it again.
we are still friends but it was definitely a good experience and i dont regret it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): It's hard to imagine that he doesn't like you if he keeps having sex with you. Why not ask him how you stand? Are you just an easy bonk or is there something more meaningful afoot? I'd say he's become something slightly more than a best friend.
What should you do? Maybe you should lay back and think of Holland? Or at least, lay back and enjoy it!
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