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I should be enjoying my life right now but instead I am constantly worrying and paranoid. Does anyone else feel this way?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 September 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

In the past 4 months I have gotten engaged and bought a house with my fiancé. We are both really happy as its something we have wanted to do for a long time.

Now here's the problem... I can't stop worrying that something will go wrong. I mean I'm really happy and feel so lucky but I'm scared its all going to be taken away from me.

For example my fiancé travels a lot by flying and driving places and even though I always worry about him,now I keep thinking he's going to die and we'll never get married etc... In addition I keep panicking that something will happen to my mum, who I'm close to and she won't see me get married. 

I'm also panicking about losing my job... I mean as far as I'm aware my job is safe but I'm constantly paranoid that if I do something wrong I'll get fired or if we don't generate enough business we will be closed down and then I won't be able to afford my mortgage and bills and we'll have to sell the house...

We have insurance if either if us loses our job and some savings but I just can't seem to relax and enjoy what should be an exciting time for us both.

I have confided in my fiancé he tells me I'm being paranoid and not to worry. I have also spoken to close friends and a few colleagues who have been through the same process but they say I'm worrying to much and yes, they had concerns but not to the extent I do.

I know I'm being irrational- has anyone else ever felt like this? For example today I just can't stop crying, thinking about it all and I keep imagining the worst case scenarios.

Also I want to clarify that I know there are worse things in life and I have no control over what may or may not happen etc.. But I would appreciate some advice.

Thanks

X

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI am the same way. Part of it (for me at least) is that I'm OCD. I have to worry or things will go wrong. Somehow that is stuck in my head, therapy did help me curb it a little, but this is one of the things I haven't really been able to get "rid" off.

I think you have the first part of OCD (Obsessive) thoughts and fears. And part of it may be anxiety.

I would suggest two things. First, try to learn some meditation skills/ yoga - it can really help you calm in these situations so it doesn't go into full blown anxiety attacks which can be quite debilitating.

Secondly, find a therapist/counselor and learn how to deal with the feelings.

A friend of mine would get anxiety attacks so often she had to quit her job. With therapy and medication she got over the worst of it and is back at work, doing pretty good for the most part.

So there is help to get, just remember medication isn't a cure. It's a tool.

Good luck.

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