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I set them up but now I cant stand them being together!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

About a couple months or so ago, my friend had gotten out of a failing relationship, and she was really looking for someone who would treat her right. i was even looking for someone to treat her right. anyway, i met this guy and he seemed really sweet, we got to talking and i developed a little crush on him, but he was more interested in my friend....like "the good friend" i set up certain situations...nothing over the top or anything, where they could talk to each other and they really started to like each other. now i'm not trying to be a martyr or anything, far from it. i just really wanted her to be happy.

but now i feel horrible because every time she talks about him i feel the urge to get her off of him...figuratively speaking. my little crush dies away, and it was replaced by hate. i hate the fact that he's with my friend and that she talks about him all the time. and no it's not that i still have feelings for him, because i hated the last guy my friend dated too. she's really sweet to me and has told me plenty of times that she would be with me in a heartbeat if i asked...but i can't and i keep telling her no because i really want her to be happy and have a good relationship with someone who doesn't have the problems i do.

so the advice part...i don't know what to do, it keeps getting harder and harder not to tell her to get rid of him (though he's a good friend of mine too) or try to start something between them so the relationship doesn't work out. am i just the worst friend alive or something? i really do want her to be happy ;_;

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

oh i know i don't like him at all...not because of him liking her. but because he's a guy in general. i developed a crush based soley on personality, and that ended very fast

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2010):

This is more of a case that you want what you can't have. I don't think you really like him as much as you think. I think it just gets to you that the friend preferred her and after setting them up you have it thrust in your face. You just have to rise above it and make sure you're meeting new guys and friends as well as seeing her. Because if you do try to start something, she'll hate you, he'll hate you and your reputation will be left in a mess.

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