A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI dated this guy in 2009 but we broke up after a few months because he told me he wanted to do "some soul searching" basically he dumped me, we were however, still pretty close and we slept together every now and then(after the break up).Neither of us had a child then and we promised each other we would have our 1st child together...We stopped seeing each other too often after a while but we still spoke, he called me on friday and told me he has a week old baby girl. Although this came as a shock, i was happy for him but couldn't help but feel betrayed. Why did he wait so long to tell me when we spoke so often? Why did everybody else keep it from me because it seems i was the only 1 who didnt know. He then went on apologising for not keeping our promise, and said I wasn't there when he needed me most and that I wasn't ready for a baby. I didnt understand what that meant coz he never asked me, he is now asking to father my 1st born child as I still dont have a baby. I didnt wanna talk too much about this so I agreed, we were supposed to "start trying" this Sunday but i didnt go to him coz I'm not ready for any of this. Im in a committed relationship and so is he...with the baby mama (I assume)So my question is, Im I right to feel this betrayed by this guy? Should I be even considering him as the father of my 1st born?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 June 2011):
 That's curious. What does your partner- the one you are in a COMMITTED relationship with - feel about that ? Does he think it's a good idea ? Would he not have any objection to his girlfriend having a child from another man ?.... Bizarre.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 June 2011):
 Sorry did I read this correctly - you are in a committed relationship but are going to cheat on your partner with an ex just so you can have his baby? Is that really what you are considering?
The definition of committed might help you make your decision:
"Feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated"
If you are 'committed' to your current relationship then you would not even be thinking of cheating on your partner. Of course this is a bad idea, can you imagine explaining to your partner that you are pregnant with another man's baby because of some silly promise you made 3 years ago?
You would end up alone, dumped by your partner for cheating and with no help from this ex of yours because he already has a baby with another woman who he is in a relationship with.
I am shocked you are even thinking about this - please wake up and be sensible, this is the worst idea I have ever heard. Dont do it.
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