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I rejected him, and now I feel like I've lost a friend. How can I fix this?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 April 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 April 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid, I've met this guy at the beginning of my senior year. At first I just thought of him as a great friend because we always hang out together in groups and had a great time. Aside from that we would talk on the phone for hours at night, the conversation never ends.

But in the middle of the year he told me that he liked me and everything went down hill from there. I didn't want a boyfriend because relationships are complicated, but he kept on pushing me and asking me to date him. I told him that he is an important person to me but I don't want to think about anything further than friends.

So one day he just made it awkward by saying he loves me over text, I told him I love him too but only as a friend. I love to talk to him and spend time with him but that's it. I feel that I'm being too selfish on my part just to keep him around but not return his feelings. He told me that maybe he was selfish for wanting more but he can't help himself because his feelings just keep coming back. I told him that maybe in college I'll consider it, but he doesn't want to go to college. In fact he has no ambitions or determination to do anything. He thinks that things will just come to him... And that's part of the reason why I do not think we are a good match because I love to be ambitious and I try to be the best that I can be.

So he just said maybe I'll forget you once you are in college because we won't see each other. So I asked him is that the reason why he wants to date me so badly right now because we'll go our separate ways in a month once highschool is over with? He said no, it's just that he wanted it to happen...so I said that even if it did happen, in the end, once highschool is over we'll each just have a broken heart. He never reply back to me. In class he would try to avoid me and make it so awkward.

We don't even talk the way we normally do anymore, and I hate that because I love him as a friend and imagining not talking to him makes me very sad and lonely. I don't know what to do, everything is just so awkward now. Please give me some advice Because I'm so lost at the moment.

View related questions: ambition, text

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A male reader, Glacier Belgium +, writes (6 April 2013):

You gave some compelling reasons why you don't want him as a bf + you don't seem to have romantic feelings for him + you guys would be seperated and heart broken anyway.

So you guys have the choice of both of you with broken hearts or just him.

I would ask him to save you from the pain. If he loves you then he will let you go.

If he can't handle it then I'm afraid you are going to lose a friend.

Remember that in college you will get new friends so don't despair.

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