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age
30-35,
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writes: Hey, Kinda new at this thing. I usually don't rely on the internet for personal problems but my parents don't help and all my friends are, well, lets say "bad people". I'm a junior in high school. I'm pretty attractive, pretty funny, self confident, and pretty interesting (if I say so myself). However, I've always had problems with the opposite sex (where, for some reason, my self confidence leaves me), and now it's even worse. I'm in JROTC and I have a fellow cadet in my corps who's really got me going. She's funny and cute and smart and all that jazz. I asked her to the military ball (which she still hasn't given me a definite answer) and I really like her, but whenever I'm around her or she looks at me and I catch her, I start to shake and stutter and second guess myself, and I sweat a whole lot (thanks for Old Spice). My parents don't really like that I like her because she's a freshman, but I don't really care. I really want to be involved with her as more than friends, but I can't break the ice. I'm terrible with girls. I always have been. I've had 2 girlfriends in my entire life and they didn't last very long. I really, REALLY need some help. And sorry if I rambled a bit; this is really bothering me. -Hopelessly Infatuated
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help! It's Saturday for me and I don't have her phone number, so I can't really do anything now, but thank you for the help. All I have to do is muster the confidence now, so some Tai Chi with my mom should help ;p.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 Say the right words at the right time and be a good listener.Really listen and understand what she means.
Don't criticize, don't argue and praise her more.Try to look at things in a humourous way with her. Make her laughs and most of your battles are won.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Honey I'm sure you're not terrible with them, you just need to build up your confidence. It's natural to get really nervous around the person you like, so you need to start calming yourself down. Before you're getting ready to talk to her (or taking her to the military ball) then take some deep slow breaths. Tell yourself that she's only a girl - another person that makes up the billions of girls in the world, and she's just like you. Just because her genitals are different and maybe her mind works a little different (thats really all the difference between males and females that makes a difference), she's still a person. She still gets upset and cries, or feels happy and laughs, she goes to the toilet. She's just another person that surrounds you in your life, and I'm sure she's delighted to know that you like her honey. I'm sure you'd have more of a chance with her if you try and calm down. So take some deep breaths, tell yourself what you're going to say, and remember she's just a person. And act confident! If you act confident, then you're more likely to feel it. Apparently its a trick that celebrities use all the time when they're in front of the camera and things. So give off an air of confidence and maturity, and show her you're not just a boy getting nervous in front of a girl. You're not a kid, and as you say, a pretty good looking guy and an interesting person, so give her the chance to get to know you. Good luck! :]
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