A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice although I think I already know the answer.I am 26 years of age (virgin) I started flirting with this guy at work that I have known for about two years, we had arranged to go out once but it never happened, he said we wanted different things, we chat a lot and basically he just wants a bit of fun no strings which is fine, but obviously I want more, I want him to ask me out first, I suppose actually care but I know deep down that he doesn't care, he is only after sex when he wants it, but the thing is I keep thinking that well maybe I should (use him for experience) but I know that if I do I will probably expect more and will be left hurt and used but I really really like him more than anything, what would you do?
View related questions:
at work, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I appreciate your virginity, don let hem have for his own enjoy then through you like an old horse.
keep appreciating your self and look for a real man who wants to establish a family, a relegious one is better, and let hem discover that you are virgin after you are involved in a marriage project.
I hope my answer will reach.
muslim man
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I can concur with what has been said here.My view is NO don't do it.
I think you have waited this long, a little longer won't hurt and will be with someone where it means something rather than a quick shag (which is what it will be for him in your description) which I think would be a great shame and in your eyes not worth the wait.
Get someone who loves you and then when the time comes tell them gently its your first time. Most males will flip, but some will hug and then take it very very slowly. (the flip will calm down after about 30 secs...)
...............................
A
female
reader, miss delicate +, writes (16 February 2009):
 I know I’m younger than you but still lol. My best friend (15)went out with this guy she loved. A week into the relationship she lost her virginity to him. An hour after loosing it to him, he dumped her and went out with her other best mate.
I realise this is different because were a lot younger and stuff but its been about 5-6 months since, and she’s slept with 2 others since and its taken her 3 guys and 5-6 months to realise how much they all used her, and iv never seen her so upset to be honest. And when other people talk about how they lost it to some one special and how much it meant to them she always looks down.
Finally, to the point, I think you should hold on a little longer until your certain, 100% sure he's not going to just use you and make feel worthless and upset you. + If you’re working together too it could be awkward if things don’t go right.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (15 February 2009):
no don't do it. i lost my virginity to someone who only wanted sex. of course i didn't realise this at the time, but afterwards he found someone else. it made me feel a little used. you don't want your first time to be with someone who does not actually care about you! you will only start wishing that he wants more then sex and when it does not happen you will be v.dissapointed and heart broken. it's not worth it hun. find someone who actually cares for you.
ok we know the first time is not that enjoyable, as it hurts. but it should still be with someone who cares for you!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): I wouldn't do it. You're this old and a virgin. You're looking at this as a time to get desperate, but I see it as a reason to make sure you don't waste the first time on someone who is not worth it.
You already know it's setting yourself up to get hurt if you get with this guy. You explained it to us yourself.
What's doing this going to do for you? Brief lust, followed by attachment that's not returned by him, and ultimately hurt on your part. This doesn't sound like the kind of habits that got you to this age a virgin at all. Maybe you're ready to start having sex but this isn't the way to do it.
...............................
|
