A
female
age
16-17,
*Angels
writes:Hi,I'm currently finishing my last few weeks of high school and just very recently I've been falling for this guy. He's so adorable, cute and kind, but, he's shorter than me! He's heaps shorter than me actually, yet, he's still older. I don't know if I should keep persuing this or just leave it. Knowing myself as a person I am imcredibly shallow but I actually really really like this guy! Any thoughts or what I should do or something?Thank you! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (22 October 2009):
 I believe that, like all else, this is a matter of personal preference. But, let's say I wouldn't exactly reject a woman just because she were taller than I am. And I would hope that were not the criterion she used to refuse to have a relationship with me (though I am sure that she would never resist my gentlemanly eyes of fire).
A
female
reader, katyayni  + ♥, writes (22 October 2009):
 Hi
Thanks for the update.
Glad to know that love overcame the obstacle of heights, and shallowness depends on the lack to knowledge and priorities.
Also on standards. For example, perhaps it will be considered shallow to go out and buy a lip-gloss when you can donate that money to some charity... but really, who is judging.
My dear dear girl, stop referring to yourself as shallow (for posterity). We all have a bit of shallowness in us all, it keeps us interesting and quite human.
So, best of luck and Love :)
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A
female
reader, xAngels +, writes (22 October 2009):
xAngels is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, hey guys!
Here's some new development... I think I'm totally, definately fallen over for him... And I think it's going to go well! I've decided that ultimately, he makes me happy and nothing else matters... So thanks for your help guys!!
xoxox
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A
female
reader, nicole90  +, writes (20 October 2009):
 I see people are offended by me stating that "wanting a man taller than you is not shallow". With this I stand by my statement. Yes media does influence every aspect of our lives but it's the natural (wo)man to want someone who can protect her. This is the same reason guys are generally attracted to girls with bigger hips. When you compare two men, one five foot and one six foot, both with same physique, which would you want to fight more? Obviously the shorter one. I am in no way saying she shouldn't give this guy a chance because I have dated guys shorter than me and I know relationships aren't all about looks. For me it's 80 percent personality and 20 percent appearance.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (20 October 2009):
 If you really like him, then you really like him. You feel uncomfortable because men are often taller than women and you're not used to this.
Does he like you? If it's mutual then go for it. While there's always hope of finding someone, we are not guaranteed an infinite number of chances at happiness. Take advantage of the ones you get.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
 Daniel, I have to admit, I like a man packing heat (preferably a semi automatic, shallow I know)
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (19 October 2009):
 Some guys like big breasts. Maybe her dwarf comment wasn't about height so much as the distance between your ears.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
Oldersister, what about a short man with a bunch of henchmen behind him, and a nice machine-gun to boot? Does that count as protection?
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (19 October 2009):
Short guys get to go "up" on a woman. Oh man I am about to faint just thinking about the prospect of that scenario.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
Hey, I know I'm a hot item, but you just aren't going to have me. Well, maybe if you told me you could kick some serious ass. Oh yeah, I forgot, I only date wealthy men too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): You make exceptions? You said "I've made exceptions but never shorter than me, ever." Yeah, good exception list there. There's nothing wrong with having an opinion, but I don't think it's fair to say, or imply, that shorter guys cannot protect a girl, or are worse in some way, when really they're like any other guy. Some guys are really tall but you never hear girls going "Oh, god, I'd never date someone taller than me." Give me a break.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
I have a right to how I feel and I also said I make exceptions. What's wrong with that? Tall men float my boat. Get over it. At least I stand behind what I write by not posting as anonymous.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): Well, maybe if Ask oldersister would take a minute to look up the actual definition of a 'dwarf' before using it to take a swing a everyone who's shorter than her, then she'd realize that is ridiculous.There was a total of...one, maybe two women standing up for short men in this post? Where as, if a guy were saying that a girl was a bit too heavy for his tastes the girls would be jumping out of the woodwork in a rage over how looks aren't important and all that.Now, Ask oldersister, where the heck do you get that you can't feel safe with a shorter guy? I posted earlier regardint the "ideal" couples that film and television portray, as that is one place where this is heavily pushed. You are saying how you don't care if a guy prefers petite women and that it's not shallow, which is fine, but it's not the same as what you're talking about. You're not talking about girls *preferring* taller men, you're saying that a man *needs* to be taller in order to offer protection. You're not stating a personal preference, you're stating what you feel is a universal rule. You intentionally DON'T go out with shorter people, and not because of your 'preference', but because you just don't think they are as good. And that is highly offensive to a lot of people.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
Find myself once again sandwiched between q1605 snd Danielepew...tough call.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
I see no problem in your liking a shorter guy. If he's any smart, he won't care about your being taller. Actually, that is NICE. Tall women are great. There's more of them to love.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
Yes, 6 ft tall with blonde hair and striking blue eyes.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (19 October 2009):
I am six feet tall. Never gave it much thought as a teenager. As I have grown up I have known men way shorter. It is something I never notice. I mean if someone pointed it out I might acknowledge it but..But a few of them are totally obsessed with it. They very jealous of their girl friends and walk around with their chests all bowed out. Won't leave their girlfriend alone with a guy for long enough to take a leak. Good bad or indifferent they care.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
To answer your question, I'm only about 5'4- if the guy is shorter than me, then he's probably a dwarf. I don't think it's shallow at all that I want to feel safe with someone, like they could protect me. I also don't think it's shallow for some men to prefer really petite women, like myself- it's just a preference. We all are entitled to what we prefer and shouldn't be given a hard time about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): To the first two posters: if a guy didn't like a girl because she was too fat for his tastes, would you call him shallow? If the answer's yes, then why isn't it shallow for a girl to pass on a guy who's too short for her? Just curious. I'm not saying it's wrong to be attracted to a guy who's taller than you - everyone's got a preference - but call a spade a spade, it's shallow.To the original poster, if there is an attraction (and it sounds like there is), why not go for it? If you're a foot taller than him I can understand your hesitation, but if it's only a matter of a few inches, I don't think it's a big deal.One word of caution. If you do go for it, but then decide you can't get over the height difference, do NOT tell him you're not into him because he's too short for you. That's just cruel, and it'd be a major blow to his self-esteem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): My current partner is 2 inches shorter than me - I dont care - I even wear shoes with heels on them!! He is the sweetest guy that you could imagine...And somehow.... being a tall woman I just seem to attract shorter men.... go figure!!
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A
female
reader, katyayni + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
Hi
Yeah. Guys do grow in a spurt. Guess you should just carry a ruler and check. If he doesn't show any signs of growing, well, you have to accept it. Well, best of luck. (kidding)
Hey, you are 16 and dating should be no issue. It is high school, time for fun. Why do you have to chase him, let him pursue you. IF you do feel intensely attracted, then, just go out with him.
And, remember, sometimes there are men who are short, so, they sweep people off their feet to get them out of the way. Height has little to do with confidence, and well, how short is he? A few inches should be no issue, if you are above the average height.
Of course, you never know until you try. Go out on a fun date, and then if it is a deal breaker, well, let him go.
Love :)
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A
female
reader, Kalyov + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
 If you really like this guy I am sure that you will eventually learn to look past his "flaw"Just try not thinking about it and think about all his good traits....you never know you might pass up a good thing if you decided not to peruse him because he is short.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): I'm sorry, I have to completely disagree with the first two posts. Yes, it's very shallow (but you know that).
You have to ask yourself, why is it every girl's dream to have a guy who's taller than them? And why do girls think that apparently shorter guys cannot protect you? As a shorter guy, I think that's incredibly unfair and very stereotypical, and it's crap. The movies and such for years have been portraying the "perfect" relationship in all films to have the guy who's taller and all this, but that's not the ONLY good relationship. Yes, it's very shallow to care THAT much about height just because you think short guys aren't as good as taller ones or something.
That is absolutely ridiculous. If that were true, then there would be ZERO short guys in relationships, right? Because apparently they just suck that much. Wow, you let the entertainment industry influence you that much and look what happens to society.
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A
female
reader, xAngels +, writes (19 October 2009):
xAngels is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL. No that's not the point of me putting it there... I'm just trying to clarify I'm not a pedo or anything...
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A
female
reader, xAngels +, writes (19 October 2009):
xAngels is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno he's older than me
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (19 October 2009):
Wow! He is heaps shorter than you but still manages to be older. How in the hell did he manage that? He sounds a bit deceptive to me. Tell him in no uncertain terms he needs to grow taller or get younger. I would accept one or the other but tell him he MUST change something.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): OK, you've said you're shallow, so his being short is going to be an issue. Clearly the height difference is going to be a deal breaker for you, so do him a favour and end it.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
Oh, it's not shallow. I don't really like guys under 5'10- has to do with the whole feeling protected thing. I've made exceptions but never shorter than me, ever. If you really, really like him though...I would give this a chance only IF you can feel an attraction. Just look at Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.
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A
female
reader, nicole90 +, writes (19 October 2009):
Don't think your shallow. It's every girls dream to have a guy who is taller than her. When you say heaps do you mean like 3" or like a foot? And also keep in mind guys grow after high school. My friend grew a foot after he got out of high school.
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