A
female
age
41-50,
*isonlyme
writes:I will try and keep it short as I can.I'm shy and I like a shy guy and I thought he liked me so I asked him out - so scary btw! Anyway he said yes, we went out he text me later to say he had a nice time, I asked him again and we went out, again I got a text telling me he had enjoyed our day.Since then I think he's hinted at us going out again but I'm not sure.In the last week he has initiated one text convo and so have I. This is the convo I started -me - good morninghim - good morning to ya, wot like today? is that you just up?me - cheeky, i've been up for hours, just feeling very cheery today. hope you're having a good dayhim - i am thanks, so far anyway. good to hear from yame - aw thanksThis was 4 days ago and I'd heard nothing from him since, so I sent a text saying 'hey you, wots up?'I've not had a reply, but it was only last night I sent it. Not worried about that yet!I now thinks that he thinks that I asked him out as a friend but I like him more than that.So I want to tell him I like him as more than a friend, by text, i'll never be able to do it in person.So does it seem like he likes me too?Also What can I say by text to let him know how I feel? I dont want to say anything too mushy just in case he does not like me.I was thinking of "hey you, just in case you didn't get last text, wots up? Btw I like you, just wanted you to know :)"So does he like me and should i text him again?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (26 September 2009):
 dearkelja gave you great advice. I just wanted to add that once a guy his age is still too "shy" to initiate things and go after what he wants like a real man, you'll always be the one to initiate everything- how a relationship starts sets an important precedent for the rest of the relationship. If you ask him out again, then it's a pattern and he'll see no reason to change his behavior and long-term, this will be frustrating for you and probably not worth it.
Yes, the ball is in his court and if he can't pick up the phone and ask you out like a normal person, he's probably going to be totally useless to you in many other ways. Consider a shy man in his 40's that can't initiate, a project, not boyfriend material, okay? I know you really like him but please do yourself a favor and not do all the work for him. Take care.
A
female
reader, dearkelja + ♥, writes (26 September 2009):
 Lots of guys are shy and they can initiate relationships. Some guys lack so much confidence or initiative that they won't make a move so the only way to get things rolling is for the woman to show interest.
You've done that. You've asked him out twice and initiated text messages. I do believe he knows you are interested in being more than friends. It is time to let the ball be in his court for awhile. Do not send the text you are suggesting as it will only scare him off. Let things unwind by themselves without pushing it. If he is interested he will initiate something. Otherwise, you'll end up with this guy that you are constantly bringing to the water and making him drink.
And by the way, I am all for women's lib and calling guys but I really think the ball is now clearly in his court.
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