A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really f*cked things up with my girlfriend.Last weekend, she moved into a guys house. This guy happens to "used to" like her. She told me her reasons for wanting to, and I said whatever. (Ofcourse this pushed me towards the edge of emotional breaking)Anyway, she said something that really insulted me. She was just joking around - it turned into an argument. And I implied she was being a bipolar b-itch. I didn't say it outright, til she swore at me - and I said "now you're really being a bitch." That got to her and she ignored me. So I wrote a heartfelt apology, took the entire night writing and rewriting it. (I even wrote it in chinese - she's chinese - I'm white). So the day after, I went to her UNI and gave her the letter as well as chocolates and a single white rose. (For both our anniversary, white day - and to say I am truly sorry).I thought everything was going perfect, til Saturday night. She started an argument with me because of our trust and communication issues(I trust her word, but she wont trust what I say), she thinks I'm one of those guys who just hooks up with random girls etc - because I am a DJ and play at events quite often.So anyway, I was talking to 2 of my friends at the same time - and vented. I said some pretty mean things, I basically said she causes arguments constantly - and never apologizes, unless I do. She never sees that she was the cause, or also the cause. I mean, I am thick headed sometimes and don't read her mind. Anyway, I have a habit of talking about my problems to my friends like that.- The night before, I left my facebook logged in at her house. She saw all of the conversations I was having while she argued with me! (Invasion of Privacy)I did say some pretty horrible things, and am an asshole for doing so. But now I'm truly sorry, and don't know how to show it. She screenshotted all those conversations, and uploaded them to a fake facebook account. Linking her profile to it, so everyone could see.Now I felt bad just venting my problems to people.. But she stooped below my level by doing that. She wont admit to my friends that she did it. But she's the only one who could have had access. So it was either her or the guy she moved in with, either way - she had to be involved somehow.I want to know how I could show her that I'm really sorry, and didn't know what else to do. Sometimes our arguments seemed stuck and I just had to vent. etc. I'm starting to think this guy she moved in with might actually get with her. He is a genuinely "nice guy" though.I'm stuck sitting here feeling insanely bad about myself. One of my friends said she might just be one of those girls that wants validation, and attention, someone to say 'you are hot', 'i like you', and listen to her complain about them. Now I'm not so sure that I want to get back with her. But my heart says I'm in love with her. (mind you I havent said this too her) - I'm far to scared of falling in love. I thought I might be before this happened, but kept telling myself I'm not. But now... I'm fairly sure I have fallen for her...I don't know what to do!!!
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female
reader, Simplysarah400  +, writes (21 March 2011):
you are aloud to vent to youre friends.. thats apart of friendship.
you realised what you did wrong and have apologised for it but she is maybe a little innmature and stubborn.
call her or something and let her know you are genuinely sorry and will be there when she cools down and wants to be civil..
good luck x
A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Its very nice to see that you came up with the problem which is faced by many guys.At first I suggest you to be gentle towards yourself and to her.Both of you are like backstabbing each other, stop it at first and she will stop it by herself(I hope so).Its not clear if she really loves you or wants to get back.Life is simple, try to be and may be you people don't understand each other much.So try to spend more time together.If she is doing something thats hurting you ,just ask not to do without arguing.Love is all about caring and respecting each other.Never think you are somewhat less than the other guy.
Good luck.
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