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I really care for my teacher and would like to give him a kiss on the cheek

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *overxlover writes:

Okay so I really really....like my teacher. I suppose I am not allowed to say Love. I would feel so bad if I did...he has 2 kids and a wife..but he does not seem that happy. I mean he does but at the same time he is kinda worn out from all of it. I wanna kiss him on the cheak i guess. But not make thing weird and make him stop talking to me. His face runs through my mind all day. We talk a lot all the time. He blows people off sometimes to talk to me. He is very smart, handsome, and funny. He is laid back, I dont think he would say anything if I did he might say not to do it again but I dont think he would. He gives me random extra points sometimes. Talks to me about his at home personal life. His kids. I know a lot about him. He has hugged me before. Well I hugged him and he happily hugged back. And was like awwww. But what I am saying is I care for him very much. He is older then me though by more then a few years. He is 45...but I dont care. Please dont think I am crazy help please!

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A female reader, 98shanny98 United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2011):

98shanny98 agony auntI am not going to say if you should or not.

I think you should trust your heart and go with what YOU think you should do. Just make sure that you consider the consequences of your actions.

Hope i helped!

From Shannon (98shanny98)

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A female reader, Beauty V Brains United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2010):

I have or infact am in a similar position to you, me and one of my teachers are close. I adore him and he's once said 'i love you to bits', he has infact hugged me before and tells me on numerous occasions that i am beautiful or very attractive or he has said this alot 'if i were back in high school i know i'd be chasing you around'. and i would love to kiss him on the cheek but i've decided im not gona even try until im leaving school, maybe you should do that too?

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A female reader, Christine82 United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2010):

Don't go there! He is a married man with young children. You either need to jet accept that you'll only ever be friends or leave him alone! I live by the rule you should never try for someone who is taken, it'll only lead to heartache

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A male reader, mrantarctica New Zealand +, writes (14 May 2010):

mrantarctica agony auntI apologize in advance for being harsh. You need to get real.

His face runs through your mind all day???!! It sounds like you are obsessed with him. When youre in this frame of mind, I wouldn't trust your own perceptions. Generally, when you're really fond of someone like this, your mind sees what it wants to see. Most likely he's a caring teacher. You hugged him first, he may have not known how to respond so naturally just hugged back. It doesn't mean anything.

If you are at college and you get involved with a lecturer etc. - there can be serious ramifications. Not only will this mans marriage be put under strain but so will his job.

It's considered highly unprofessional to become romantically involved with your students. Just the same way that its very unprofessional for a doctor to become romantically involved with their patients.

Most universities would reprimand him severely. If you were at a university of any quality, he'd be sacked on the spot. Usually things like this are written into contracts. I know this because I have taught at University level.

If you really respect him, you will leave him well alone. Reward him by doing well in his classes, and being a good student, getting good grades and making a career for yourself. When you have left his classes, and are no longer his student, you can do what you like.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010):

The professor that I have a huge crush on happened to be married and has 2 daughters too. He is assigned as my advisor for 2 semesters but unfortunately I didn't get to interact with him a lot. He is a very gentle & handsome guy who is no doubt a good husband and dad. I found myself so into him that I'll actually " accidentally" bump into him often just to say "hi", and I even sign up for his class next semester. I really really like him a lot that I sometimes wonder whether i may date him one day, but of course I know that's impossible( he's 48 & i'm 24). Anyhow,

It was foolish of me to compliment him on ratemyprofessors.com because some of his students saw the comment & told him that they guessed one of his student has a crush on him. He was so shy & said: " can we just move on ?" ( awww ~ he's so cute ~ but i feel guilty... )

But anyway, sorry about all these & back to your problem. Personally, I think that your professor might have some feelings for you too or else he wouldn't have hugged you back or even allow you to hug him since that doesn't look very professional. Plus, he blows people off sometimes to talk to you & shares his personal life stories with you! Does that not indicate something? or is it just me being too romantic? If I'm you, I'll just pretend to give it like a natural good bye kiss at the end of chatting & say "take care", so to avoid awkwardness...

I kinda admit that I'm a bad person when it comes to love so I don't care whether he is married or not, but I will try to avoid destroying his family......

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 May 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntBack again? Looking for the same answers are you? Oh hum.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010):

The mans married with children. You shouldn't kiss him on the cheek as it would put him in an awkward situation. Think how his wife and kids would feel if they knew some young college beauty was kissing on their dad/husband. You don't want to hurt the guy you like with that baggage.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010):

If he has a wife and kids, it's best to avoid any kissing. so maybe, he's exhausted. But family values are more important than a kiss on the cheek. if you want to show him you care, don't do it through contact. Tell him you appreciate him, but would much rather prefer to not ruin his family and his relationship with them.

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