| A
female
,
*oveisapain
writes: Ok so I am in the middle of this relationship and my BF lives in a different town, with his mom. He is not trusted with anything so his mom drives him to this town. But he wants me to meet her! They were driving around today and he pointed to me and said something and she just gave me a look like I was trash. So they went to stop the car to say hi and I ran!!!! I hid in a store so that i wouldn't have to meet her. But now I think he is mad because I do not feel right around my boyfriend and his parents at the same time. The guys seem to think that it is all the same with or without mom, but I can't be myself around her! What do I do ??? I think he may be avoiding me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sibaan +, writes (15 June 2006):
 you have to face them sometime. what are you going to do when your married???you need to hold your head high and meet her otherwise your going to lose your boyfriend.
A
female
reader, Helen Help! :)  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 Hey Huni,I think you should just apologise to your boyfriend and tell him that your just not ready to meet her, tell him that your scared and im sure that he'll reassure you that things will be fine i mean you cant just judge her when you havent spoken to her she might be a really nice person n love you to bits you never know unless you try so when you think your ready tell him and ask him to make sure he doesnt leave you alone in thier company. Good Luck.Helen x
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 Oh dear... Where to begin?
He lives with his mother? She doesn't "trust" him, so has to drive him into town? You ran and hid from a look from Mum? You think he's avoiding you after you abandoned a meeting?
Unless you and your boyfriend are both about 16, this whole situation rings Danger bells for me.
An adult man whose mother is such a huge and dominating figure in his life is never going to be able to shift Mom from the centre of his heart and have a proper relationship with another woman. If Mom really was staring daggers at you, as you seem to think she was, then you can see that you're not going to be able to compete with an Oedipus complex!
I'd say keep hiding and don't worry if he never finds you.
On the other hand, if you both are about 16, then maybe this situation isn't so dire as all that. If that's the case (it would help if you'd have stated your ages), then I'd suggest that you ring him -- don't text; it's too important -- and say that you lost your head with nerves, and you're sorry. Because you are sorry, right? Try to make an appointment to meet Mom, at a time of your choosing.
You can make it less daunting if you choose a neutral location, like a coffee shop, and pick a time when you have a chance to look and feel your best about it.
Instead of being so passive, step up and make the arrangements in a way that's suitable to you. Pick a time, pick a place, and then go in feeling confident.
That all applies if you're still below the age of majority. If either of you is over 18 and Mom is still the centre of his life... don't bother.
...............................
|
