A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, we were old friends along time ago and when we ran into each other, we got along great! We have a great time together. He has always been very independant and has never "needed" a women and when we have a problem, he just says that women are too much work and acts like he could walk away and never look back. But 97% of the time he is telling me he's happy and that he loves me. Only during arguments does he seem to be able to just "bail" on the whole relationship. We recently got in a argument and I overheard him telling a cousin about the problem. She asked if he really loved me alot and he told her "no". He doesn't know I heard, and has gone back to treating me good and having fun, and planning the future together. But now I'm not sure how much to trust or how to feel when he says anything to me. Oh, and sex is not so good, he blames it on himself and his inability to "feel like having sex" he says it's not me.... Any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, a-g55  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 I act the same way in an arguement. I act like i dont care. The reason guys do this is because of a emotional problem. the inability to let yourself love someone. but most of this time i'm happy and feel love for my gf. but when anyone asks if i love her i get all figetty because i don't actually know what love really is. it's an emotional defense i have, that comes from my mother leaving me at a young age and its made me distrust women in some way. when he acts like he could walk away he is trying to give you a negative response to argueing so you feel horrible which he hopes you will remember the next time you both argue and the fear of feeeling horrible again will deter you from persue-ing the arguement further.I do it myself. He wont be any different with any other girl. he could be going out with cameron diaz but the problems will still persist. he has trapped emotion from a past relationship trauma. find out what his trapped emotional issue is and and try to relieve? relive? his emotions to the incident and he will let you in!
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