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I love my cybersex guy..should I leave my partner of 10 years for him?

Tagged as: Cheating, Online dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2005)
A female , *irefox writes:

hi this is part two to my chatroom love affair,i love the guy for many reasons but the most is sex,our cyber is the best ever,well i do feel good after the sex.anyway this is an interracial affair,the thing is i got a guy, but this cyber lover has got my heart, we have plans on meeting soon,and i want him, we talked about the issues and what to expect, but should i leave my guy of 10 years to be with my cyber guy, i do dream of a wonderful future with my cyber guy, i think of marriage,kids and everyday life with the guy and i think he feels the same way,it has been four mths,what should i do?i'm totally in love with my cyber guy

View related questions: affair, chat room, cybersex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005):

Sounds like you arent going to get this out of your system until you meet him. Even if he is great I dont think he's that great and I bet you'll sabotouge all your relationship by comparing them to this Platonic lover/father of your kids.

The 10 year thing doesnt sound like it has progressing. Why dont you take a break and get cyberhubby out of your system

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005):

I think you should do the right thing and end your cyber affair with this man, hun. I have huge reservations about men or women who cheat on their partners.It shows poor character, and a profound disrespect for that person, you have committed to. If you want to continue your relationship with this cyber lover, than at least come clean with your partner and let him choose what he wants to do. Don't string him along, hun...that's pretty heartless. And take responsibility for ending your relationship..realize that you did not keep your heart safely in the this committed relationship with your partner, but instead it was flirting with some stranger, online!

You really sound desperate and very lonely, dear...not to mention very, very unhappy. It sounds like you want more than your partner can give you, so rather than being honest and telling him...you've found an online lover to fulfill your needs. How sad. Perhaps you should work on yourself and ask why you feel the need to do this to the man you've been in a committed relationship for 10 years. You are having an affair with just an illusion...a fantasy and I feel sorry for you. I hope you come to your senses, attain some self-respect and self-worth and work harder that the relationship you already have...Best of luck and take care.

Hugs, Irish

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A female reader, Seratuki United States +, writes (7 December 2005):

Seratuki agony auntCyber sex is just masterbation, so of course the sex is great if you're only trying to please yourself!! the real challenge is learning to please your partner as well as yourself during real sex.

Chat rooms can be both wonderful and awful, it's very easy to decieve someone on the internet, and to have less inhabitions since the face to face contact pressure is off.

I think you're more in love with the fantasy than the actual person.

Being on the internet is a lot less demanding on a relationship than the everyday effort it takes when you are face to face. Purhaps there's something missing from your relationship of 10 years? but you need to ask yourself, are you willing to throw away ten years on the chance that this cyber guy could turn out to be who he says he is?

I suggest you talk to the partner you have had for 10 years, tell him how you feel, see what he's willing to do to help you feel better about the relationship.

You could meet your cyber guy, but I do feel that it would be dishonest to do so if you don't speak to your other guy first, but up front and honest with both of the men, and see where it leads you

HTH

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