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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi I'v been dating my bf for 2 yrs now and i love him very very much. we get along great we share all our deepest thoughts and dreams. we go out all the time for meals and meet up with friends after for a drink, we often just stay in and enjoy each others company.we have so much in common and have a great sex life. there is just one major problem i dont think he likes kids and i have 3 from a previous relationship which was very abusive. he became my best friend at first we were friends for about 6 months and he gave me the courage to stand up for myself and not let my x put me down all the time and i left him after 6 yrs of physical and emotional abuse. He supported me the whole way and we soon became lovers. I used to be so quiet and shy and believed that no one wud be interested in what i had to say so i never said much til i met him he told me i was beautiful and most men fancied me and that he found me very interesting and loved my company and me. As soon as we started dating my x found out and beat him up and twice has smashed his car windows everybody told him to get away but he said he cudnt that he loves me and everytime my x does something stupid to him {which happens very regular by the way}it just seems to make us stronger. The other nite we were talkin about christmas presents and he said he wanted a baby but straight away said that he was joking and how he was no good with kids and that he wud run a mile if i got pregnant im not sure if he was messin or serious i find it hard to believe that he wud leave me after all we have been through together but he seemed pretty serious .I dont know what to think HAS HE GONE OFF ME OR WAS HE REALLY SERIOUS OR JUST MESSIN ????? what do u all think I love him so much and wud love to spend the rest of my life with him and maybe one day have his baby. Is the fact that he says he is no good with kids a big problem seeing as i have 3 which he gets on fine with except 1 because his dad tells him not to talk to him my kids are 6,5 and 2. please give me some advice . xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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best friend, christmas, emotionally abusive, sex life, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (4 November 2006):
 This is not where your answers lie. Your answers are in your boyfriend. Ask him if he has a problem with kids, with your kids, with you having kids.
Tell him you're asking these questions because of what he said. Be open and honest with him.
As for planning a child with him that is not a good idea unless you're married. If that comes up it needs to be a hypothetical future idea, not a concrete plan in your mind that he blew.
If he says hypothetically you got married he wouldn't want any children, then listen to his reasons. If he is serious and you still really want more children then you will have to consider the future without this man.
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