A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a average and very mature 14 years old. Due to the fact I have had to grow up a lot quicker than others due to family errors. I have suddenly lost all sense of maturity and all common sense full stop. I am in love with my English teacher as he treats me like a person. He obviously isn't interested in me but I have never felt this way towards any other person. I miss him when I leave his class and I can't wait till I have a lesson with him. This is a obsession. We email each other a lot with queries about the lesson. He makes my day and when I am upset he makes me feel like a million dollars. I know everyone would say this is just a crush but it's not. I know I cannot pursue this but my little heart is breaking and knowing he will never be mine hurts. He is 28, single and an intelligent man. I Love him and I always will.
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female
reader, Kaitlywaitly93  +, writes (18 January 2009):
Hey don't stress it. I know exactly how you feel. My family has put me through situations that have caused me to grow up faster than other fifteen year olds. This year things were going bad so I talked to my English teacher. We email each other about what's been happening and he always makes me feel 100% better. I don't have a real relationship with my parents so it was
Amazing to have someone to talk to who understood and actually cared. I think I love him. He is smart and makes me laugh, not to mention he's a hottie. I know nothing could ever happen because it would be illegal, plus he has a family. But it still hurts. So don't stress over it, you're definately not alone on this one. ;D
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): some people are writing "don't bother crushing on an older guy" but i mean, come on, its not like you can choose! i too love my teacher, and i think you can tell if you're in love if you know his flaws, and can accept them or, like me, love them simply becuase they're a part of him, like the teacher i love is crap at english and drawing, but i just love that - it makes him seem not so perfect ie more of a human, and i just love to see that side of him. maybe you are in love with him. maybe you're not. i cant give you advice on how to stop the pain, because for me its just getting worse - i used to feel all happy around him, and maybe thats because i was in the crush stage where you just feel pretty and happy, but now whenever i see him, my chest contracts and i feel sick, and my heart practically stops and starts, and i feel sick with nerves every time i walk to his lesson omg i cannot BEGIN to describe the way i feel as i walk to his lesson - its all that keeps me going, his lessons, twice a week, mondays n fridays, and my week revolves around the days i'll see him - i wake up on mon n fris and the first thing i think about is "omg phyiscs today!!!" not in a happy way, just in a oh please let my hair look nice for his lesson, please let him notice me, please for the love of god let all the yearning and pain ive been feeling all week be worth it. he just controls my life, i don't know if you other people feel this way, but i swear everything i think about is almost directly linked to him, even when im sopping in town, i always think would Mr W think i looked good in it? ACH the heartache!!! i love him more than life, id kill myself if i could come back as a ghost and just watch him for the rest of him life. i'm 15 by the way, but sort of realised i felt this way when i first taught me in yr 9 - i was about 14. i doubt this has helped you but its helped me, and we're all the same really. good look with your situation. i'm going to tell my teacher how i feel when i leave school in like 3.5 years, cos i'm staying on at 6th form (only for him). love is difficult. REALLY difficult.
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (24 January 2008):
 It sounds like a crush to me. Yes, you think you're quite mature due to family problems. However, you're only 14 years old. No, you don't love him. You like him alot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): You say you want to stop the pain, but I don't think you do. Even if nothing's going to happen, it's still going to hurt, and if it didn't, I don't think that'd be what you're looking for.Look, the pain is better than the emptiness and thought of being entirely ALONE. You have him. Maybe not in the way you'd want to, but you have him. And you want that. The only way to replace that type of pain is by something called an "interference memory". It's kind of like replacing one thing with another. Basically, fall in love with someone else, and they'll re-fill whatever space your teacher fills now. You replace the memory/thought pattern with the same memory/thought pattern, just directed toward someone new. The new memory sort of erases/blankets the old one, and you forget about it. Do you want to erase those memories of him, though? Watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (that movie w/ Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet) and you'll understand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): I don't mistake his actions as I know he would never feel the same. I have been in relationships before and have good friends. I know this isn't love as I am only 14. It feels like love and to me it is love. Many girls my age fall for older guys due to the security. I don't "like" my teacher because of his looks, I don't "like" my teacher because of his humour. I "LOVE" him because he is always there, he always puts a smile of my face when I am upset and when I get angry and upset I think of him and all my problems dissapear. Assome one said before it is an intense crush. I know something will never happen and it hurts. I don't want to know your opinions on this, I want advice of how to stop the hurting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): I think what you're feeling is friendship, not love. Family problems can make you feel like you need something else besides family, which starts to seem unstable, so you want to latch onto something else. You like the attention that he gives you more than you like him, I bet. If anything started to happen, you would just be in a worse situation than you're in now.
Love him like you'd love a friend. Don't mistake his actions for something they're not. Friendship is way better than a romantic relationship anyway, because it's long lasting. Maybe if he's still single in 8 years or so, something could happen, but until then just solidify your friendship by being friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I know quite a bit on the subject. Don't bother crushing on an older guy at that age. It's not worth it. I think you're probably feeling what you think is love but is really you being drawn to someone who acts like a caring parent or friend.
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