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male
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*ustin06
writes: i have been dating this girl i have been seeing for about five months we really hit it off but as usaul i rushed into things, i moved in with cause she ask me to and we and we both planned to have a baby all in a matter of months, just recently i lyed to her about some money and i apolized for what i did she did forgive and we were trying to make things work, recently she said she was done with me and i guess i was calling her to much when we first seperated but she told me to fight for this relationship, now that i have called to much she put a no contact order on me so she can clear her mind now i have a court hearing on the 19 of dec 05 and dont know what is going to happen, i have benn told this was just for her to clear her mind and ive been told that she loves me and still has feelings for me also the last time we talked she said to me this isnt the she wants it to be, what do you think the outcome might be with this i love her to death and will do anything to make her trust me again please give me some advice.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 December 2005):
 Whoa, drama king and drama queen!
This relationship is dragging you both under. Neither of you is emotionally ready to deal with the breathtaking shortcomings of the other.
Frankly, she sounds childish and egocentric and you strike me as a controlling stalker. Please stay away from each other. This sort of relationship leads to abuse and violence. Please do the world a favour and do NOT have children with this woman! I'm begging you. Kids do not deserve being subjected to this kind of danger.
There is NO CHANCE of this working out. You don't love her; you're obsessed by her. She doesn't love you; she's in love with the idea of love.
If you're smart, you'll obey the court order and reexamine this explosive relationship with the intention of never having another like this as long as you live.
Honestly. Ask yourself: do I want to deal with this every day... forever? Do I want to bring innocent children's lives in contact with this turmoil, for decades?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005):
Done, done and done.
You need to have enough self-respect to pull yourself out of this. If she doesnt want you, and is going to humilate you by dragging you to court to make sure that fact is documented in the public record, then you dont need her.
And dont snivel when you are in court.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Im sorry but ive had rows with boyfriends, ive split with boyfriends and reunited with them too but no matter how mad i am at them, or how much they have called me on the phone (i even had one hide in my back garden at night!!!!) I have never called the police and got a no contact order on them. Unless your not being completetly honest and you were practically stalking your ex and making her life hell then she has over stepped the mark and has been plain out of order to you and clearly doesnt love you anymore beacuse people really dont act like that if they love someone. Shes made her point and its rather blatant, dont listen to people telling you that she still has feelings for you etc, why would you want to get back with someone whos made you have to stand up in court? Move on, learn from it and do better next time round.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Ummmm, if she is bringing the courts into it, then guaranteed she wants NOTHING to do with you. Move on.
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A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (14 December 2005):
 If she just wanted to 'clear her mind' she would not have taken it as far as a court order. It sounds like you just need to back off for a while, and clear your mind as well.
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