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male
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*SMCNJ
writes: I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years, we had an argument this weekend about how she doesn’t like it when I criticize her spending habits.Then yesterday she tells me (on the phone) that she is no longer happy in the relationship. We agreed on a break. When I asked her if she wants to talk in a week in person about what is going through her head, she was reluctant but agreed. This has really caught me off guard as I thought everything has been going great. She says she’s been thinking about how she’s feeling and she doesn’t know if she loves me or if she is just used to being with me. When I ask her exactly what is making her unhappy she says its nothing, she just doesn’t know how she feels. My question is, what should I do?
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female
reader, stacey nutthall +, writes (14 December 2005):
hi. i cant help but think that your girlfriend might be messing you around. If she thinks she might just "be used to being with you" then you have to ask yourself, would anyone who really loves you have to ask that question? it's true, we all settle when we find a great relationship, but even after 40 years there should still be some form of spark. she might be confused about her feelings but you can't let yourself become a door-mat! you are being straight with her but her reluctance and dismissive attitude suggests that she might not be giving you the same curtesy. you need to be up front and to the point and find out exactly what she is playing at. good luck!!!
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