A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I've lived next door to the "smiths" for 5 years (summer before 5th grade) and the two daughters Hannah (15) and Lydia (17) are my best friends ever and their younger brother Eli (13 but pretty mature) is also a good friend of mine too, anyways, there is also another son named Caleb and I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with him, theres a problem though, he's 20. Keep in mind that for probably about the last 3 years or so I've spent nearly all day, every day at their house (seriously, the longest I've been away aside from vacations and stuff is 3 days) I know that nothing could ever happen between caleb and I, I mean there's a a 5 year age difference but I always appease myself and start to believe that we might, someday, have something even though in the back of my mind I know nothing will. I've tried to move on, so many times, but it's just so hard, and now it's like he's taken up all of my heart and ive lost almost all interest in other guys even though I should be moving on. One of the worst things I do is convince myself that all his little friendly gestures are saying that he likes me, like when he took Hannah and I on a 2-3 hour car ride and talked to me about every subject imaginable, including sex and masturbation, while Hannah sat in the back and did her homework. Things like that are my downfall and heres another kicker; he has a girlfriend. I know what your thinking, I'm crazy, but when he's at school he only sees her 1-2 times a week, and for the past 3 months he's been studying abroad in Spain (he comes back June 4th at 7:45, 6 more days) and I cannot wait to see him. Oh yeah, no one (except you) knows that I feel this way, not even hannah or Lydia and I hate having to hide it like that, caleb and I have to pretend to "hate" eachother because we have a long-running joke that I'm replacing him in the family. I am so confused. What do you think about this? Do you think I love him? Do you think we have a chance? I'm sorry confused. Sorry this was long.
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female
reader, miss_nancy183  +, writes (4 July 2013):
 Just try to become close friends. Then your feelings for him might go away but if they don't wait until you are at least 18 and he doesn't have a girlfriend before you make a move.
A
female
reader, Shooter1999  +, writes (11 February 2013):
I know how you feel I'm in love with my best friends brother but there is a big age gap I'm 14 in September and he is 18 in a few months and I know most of you who read this think I'm just some stupid teen with a little crush but I've always liked him he doesn't know it though and I have confidence issues so it isn't like I can just tell him but I am madly in love with him and my best friend doesn't know either and I don't feel I can tell her because I know she will tell him and I just today my best friend and me were playing a game with him and we were pretending to hypnotise him and my best friend said to him when you snap out of it you will tell rhianne (me) you love her and when he snapped out of it he said I will not say that to rhianne, rhianne you are a good friend and I didn't know what to say so I just left it I always feel like I want to just get up and hug him but then it would be obvious I like him and I don't know what to do help!!
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A
female
reader, heart245 +, writes (24 October 2011):
Wow i completely understand where you're coming from, for i too am madly in love with my best friends brother. What i am doing though is just act normal around him i do talk to him alot be until im eighten i wont make any moves you know? No matter how much it kills me i will wait, because going for it to soon may destroy any relationship you have with him now :) i hope i helped you :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): Chigirl- I understand what you're saying and I know I made it sound like ihim having a girlfriend was a lot less important then it actually is but I understand that they're in college and have a mature relationship and care about each other a lot. I don't hate sarah (his girlfriend) either, I'm not even jealous really because I know that I can't have him and thats what hurts the most, everytime I see him I'm reminded that he will never be mine.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 May 2011):
 OH how frustrating for you.
Everything Chigirl said is right.
IN addition, I am sure if someone asked him what he thinks of you it's going to be along the lines of "my kid sister's friend" and that's going to be a very hard role to switch from...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 Can you explain this a bit better? "Things like that are my downfall and heres another kicker; he has a girlfriend. I know what your thinking, I'm crazy, but when he's at school he only sees her 1-2 times a week, and for the past 3 months he's been studying abroad in Spain (he comes back June 4th at 7:45, 6 more days) and I cannot wait to see him. "
He's got a girlfriend, "but when he's at school he only sees her 1-2 times a week" and so on. What are you trying to say, because it sounds as if since he sees her only 1-2 times a week it's not a real relationship? For many couples, that is quite normal, and they don't get to see each other more often. Doesn't mean that their relationship isn't working, or is lacking in any way. It sounds almost like you dismiss the fact that he has a girlfriend, like saying that if he doesn't meet her every day you don't have to worry about it? Or it isn't real? That you can imagine that he is single?
He's not single. And likely, you imagine that he flirts with you as well. The age difference is hard to overcome as well. When I was 14 I was madly in love with an 18 year old, and there was no hope. However, once you get to 18 (just three more years) the age difference wont be a problem. Perhaps you could make a go for it then. But, only if he is single! Don't try to dismiss his girlfriend, she's real, no matter how little or much they meet up. If he's not single, he's unavailable, no matter how old he is.
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