A
female
age
22-25,
*oreMessage
writes:Hi, so, I'm a 14y/o female. So I go to karate and there's this guy (14 too) who I get along with really well. I kinda think I have a crush on him. I end up thinking about him randomly and whenever I go anywhere I always hope I could see him somewhere, even though I know the chances are quite slim. But I'm scared. I get "crushes" very easily, so I've been trying to push this one away. But he feels... different. I don't know, maybe I'm just hormonal. Which is what I'm scared of. I'm scared that I might end up hurting him. I'm scared of losing his friendship.If you have any advice, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2017): I meant to say:
"When you can't separate a crush from just being a friend; you have to put a little distance between you [and] the boy."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2017): When you can't separate a crush from just being a friend; you have to put a little distance between you the boy. You are a little hormonal and that will get in the way; because he's a boy, and hormones takeover until you learn to control and master them.
Learn self-control. That means, don't act-out everything that comes into your mind. You can still feel attracted to him in your mind; but behave like a normal friend. I'm not sure how you would hurt him? You're the same age he is, and he isn't made of glass.
In karate, you learn to discipline the mind. Do you not?
Part of being a teenager is developing interactive skills with others, coping with your mixed feelings, and learning how to control and express them. You're going to experience highs and lows, tons of crushes, and sometimes hate your parents. It has nothing to do with the kind of person you are, it is part of your psychological growth and development.
I think he hasn't shown whether or not he likes you the same way; so that leaves you frustrated and confused. You're afraid to let him know how you feel. You figure as soon as he does, you'll like somebody else.
Spoiler alert..he'll do the same thing! That's the way teenage puppy-love is designed. You are allowed to like this guy this week, and still crush on another next week. You just don't play one guy for another. You just wait out the crush until it fades away. You teach yourself how to like one boy at a time.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (20 July 2017):
 Yes you do have a crush on him.
If, as you've mentioned, you get crushes easily then wait it out and see how you feel. I wouldn't say fight it, I'd say wait it out a bit.
You seem to really value your friendship so I wouldn't risk losing the friendship if I were you and here's why:
At your age, you will have a lot of crushes, you will kiss a lot of frogs that you will think might be princes and you will have relationships that will not last. Chances of you meeting your life partner at your age are quite slim so if you get into a relationship with your friend then how long will it last? I'm not trying to discourage you, I'm trying to prevent you from making a possible mistake. If he means so much to you then you should not even think of entering a relationship with him because you would quite possibly lose the friendship that you have with him.
You should rather keep the friendship that you have with him, in my book. Friendship goes a long way.
Considering relationships should be left until you're a bit older because you're still so young. Now is the time for you to focus on school and enjoying your life to the fullest because the teenage years, although they're confusing, are some of the best years that you will ever live through.
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