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I like him but don't want to ruin anything at the moment.

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Question - (15 December 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have become friends with a guy who I go out patrolling with in his car due to burglaries in our area and part of a group. We get on well and can talk about anything which is helpful when out for an hour together. He does like to tease me and nudges me in humour when I am cheeky and the last patrol he started singing'you and me' and said you enjoy being out in the car with me don't you. We have only ever messaged to say 'are you up for patrolling tonight' so was surprised to get a sweet text saying 'enjoy your Christmas party x' and the next day 'morning how is your head today' and he always says 'be careful' if out on my own somewhere. Just friendly or sensing he might like me. I like him but don't want to ruin anything at the moment.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2019):

You don't want to ruin anything at the moment? Ruin what???

Okay, single-lady! I've read posts like this one; time, and time, and time again! Always involving "married-men," and women who are alone, and/or in a troubled-relationship.

You have been in an ongoing one-on-one partnership with someone of the opposite-sex...at night...alone...in the dark! You're bound to make a very friendly-connection. How cliche can you get?!!! Most neighborhood-watches are in groups, avoiding situations that could be fodder for gossip; or end-up turning into something other than what they're intended to be. If there have been a number of burglaries, your community should request your local police precinct to have law-enforcement professionals patrol the neighborhood...in squad-cars, with billy-clubs, and shiny badges. I've found that's quite effective in curtailing burglaries! It minimizes people forming vigilante-groups! Burglars sometimes have weapons!

Married-women don't usually want their husbands driving-around at night with single-women; and I wouldn't be surprised if he angled his way to set this up to be just him and you. Did you scooch-over next to him, so they could pair you together? Even wives of cops feel uneasy about your kind of arrangement! Hoping his partner is a butch-female; or someone so plain and androgynous, she knows they'll stay professional at all times. Preferably a male-partner, if at all possible!

The more time spent together alone, the closer and more mischievous you get! Only he's now turning on the charm; because he is sensing you're picking-up his pheromones, and might be up for a quick fling. Wifey ain't around; so when the cat's away, the mice will play! Your post is a dead-giveaway that you're going for the bait! Tossing out some of your own as well!

Reel in your feelings, and smolder-out your fiery-hormones, my dear! This is how affairs start, and nothing more convenient than having a backseat at your immediate disposal!

Don't turn patrolling for burglars into an undercover-rendezvous behind his wife's back! All the physical-contact (nudging); and flirting, disguised as banter. It's nothing but a prelude to sweaty horsing-around in the backseat. Something tells me your partnership is no coincidence!

Slow your roll, sister!!! Get a grip there, girlfriend!

I suggest you find a female patrol-partner; or invite his wife to come along. Unless you intend to have a panty-raid in the backseat??? He's stealing your heart, and that's also how you start something that's not easy to stop! Until you get caught! Then all hell breaks loose! The gossip will make it from one end of the block to the other; and every wife within a five-mile radius will hate your guts! You will run into hateful-glances at the grocery store, and get stare-downs at stop-lights! You'd be the neighborhood man-stealing Jezebel! Talkabout burglars!

Married-men and guys with girlfriends who are on the prowl are especially nice to lonely-ladies; and can turn-on that sexy-charm like nobody's-business. When they are looking for a ready and willing piece on the side. Once he's caught, he'll say you meant nothing! You seduced him!

If you're lonely, and need male-companionship; find yourself a single and available guy, and do all the "nudging" you want! You can flirt outright without pretending!!! You can do it in the backseat, on the couch, in the bedroom, the kitchen, and anywhere you like! As long it is between two single consenting-adults, with no other romantic or marital-attachments! If you want to role-play "patrolling for burglars!" That's good too!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 December 2019):

Honeypie agony auntIs he the same married guy you borrowed a suitcase from?

If so, stay away, he is married. Don't be THAT kind of woman.

If this is another guy, one who IS single, just take your time getting to know him. What is the hurry?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2019):

There's nowhere near enough information to determine what is going on here. He might like you as a friend or he might fancy you. Both will make themselves obvious in time I think!

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