A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I started talking to a girl who's a few months younger than me (I'm almost 17) a couple of months ago. At first, I was very excited to get to know her. We've hung out a handful of times and she seems to be very interested in me (and her friends have hinted towards it). I've flirted with her quite a bit and she's accepted them and flirted back. The problem is, I'm not sure how interested I am in her with a relationship. I've never really WANTED a relationship that badly, but I was always willing to start one if I found the right girl. I think I like this girl, but I often find myself questioning if I want to be with her. I enjoy spending time with her and talking to her on the phone and in text messages, but for some reason I'm always wondering if it's what I really want. I really do have a good time when I see her, I just somehow can't shake the feeling that I don't know if it's what I really want. My brother and some of my friends encourage me to ask her out and just see how if I like her, but I don't know if that's okay. I don't want to lead her into that if I'm not sure if it's what I really want. I don't want to hurt her, I think she's a pretty cool person, and if I don't decide to ask her out I definitely want to become good friends. But I don't know if asking her out is the right decision, because my brother and my friends say the only way to know is to ask her out and see how I feel, but I don't know if that's being mean or not.Sorry for writing so much, and thanks in advance
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): If you've only been talking to her for a couple of months, I think it's natural that you will be questioning whether you really would like a relationship with her or not. It's still early days.
Obviously, it's your choice whether to ask her out or not. But given your feelings and confusion, my advice would be to not ask her out just yet. I would leave it for now, and just concentrate on being friends with her, and get to know her better. After spending more time with her, you will probably have a better sense of whether you would like to be more than just friends or not.
I don't think there is any harm in waiting for a while longer. Of course, SHE might ask YOU out! If that happens, you could just say that you would like to just stay really good friends for now, and see where things lead.
Hope this has helped. x
A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (12 July 2009):
 as for writing so much dont worry about it... the few i have written were both overe 1000 words a piece =)
If i was you in that situation, i would very much like to know if she liked me back, especially if there was no one else i was interested in.
From a more selfish sounding perspective, if you think you like her, and she likes you, plus there is no one else, you have nothing to lose, am i right?
As for not wanting to hurt her, i completely understand... I am much like that myself around girls, (of course maybe more often than not its me being clueless and having no idea how to react.)
Your friends are right, there is only one way to know for sure whether it will work or not. Yes, becoming involved in a relationship may complicate a friendship if things turn for the worse. But, not necisarrily, and trying not to hurt her would definately help to continue a friendship. There is normally always a way to end things with you both still liking each other.
If you are going to ask her out , it sounds like since she likes you, a more direct approach would be more the way to go. If you've hung out together in groups before, but never just the two of you, something simple like "I've enjoyed the times we've hung out together. Maybe you want to hang out just the two of us?"
If she does like you, she should get the picture, if not, there are no hurt feelings and should be no awkwardness when the two of you see each other.
Hope i've helped. message me if anything more...
Nick
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