A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I play sport with a few mates, but one of them isn't that good compared to the rest of us. I like one of them as more of a friend, yet she isn't as good as the rest of us. She finds it hard when she plays with us, and its clear she gets a little annoyed/upset.Yet the thing is i don't want to make things easy for her, as this might upset her too. and of course as i like her the last thing i want to do is upset her.please help... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (26 May 2007):
I think you are phenomenal that you realise this issue for her. While sports and physicality might not be second-nature to her, surely her drive and commitment and enthusiasm is way more important than how she delivers on the field. I think you've been very noble to recognise how important it is to her, but you know, don't undermine her, keep her out of things, but don't over-do the admiration thing. Let her do her thing, it is clearly personal for her, her goals and challenges. Telling her she did really well at one part of her move might make you look transparent. Maybe telling her it was great for you or that she is part of your sport is really important to you, even if she is crap, feeling that you and her enjoy it together as something together with no judgement may mean more than how she did a move. Do you understand?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): I hope you don't mind if I find your problem somewhat amusing. It has been a long time since I've seen this particular "playground" conundrum and I hope you handle better than some of my peers when they were your age.
In non-competitive sports, actual ability is less important than having someone who plays hard and exhibits good sportsmanship. If this is not a competitive sport, in the sense that it is a recreational extra-curricular sport, then there is no reason to cut her from the teams. However, if this is a competitive sport where the team's ability to win is at stake, benching her until she brings up her game may be in the team's best interest.
And you should consider this an opportunity, since you're apparently good at the game and she isn't. If she's keen on it, you should offer your help in helping her improve her game. The extra practice may also make you a better player.
Break a leg.
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Yep, it depends if you can make it look natural like you're just playing badly or if she'll see straight through you and feel angry that you're patronising her. It's a fine line and really depends on how well you act etc. Maybe a better way to show her you like her and help her is by playing in a team with her and helping her tht way.
CD
...............................
|
