A
female
age
30-35,
*ustDon'tKnow
writes:Help Please!!!So here goes...at this point I'm feeling very helpless. I just found out that my husband of 9 years had a sexual relationship with another women and now she's pregnant... around 5 months. The sad thing about this it that this same thing happend 8 years ago as well..as a result he has an 8 year old daughter outside the marriage (we have 3 together ourselves). Over time I've been able to get over the first affair but this just seems worse to me. And hey to top it off I'm 4 months pregnant.....I have this sense of hopelessness that won't leave me. I feel like I'm to blame because he was feeling neglected, like I wasn't doing enough to make him feel like a man. I know that best thing to do would be to leave him but under all the heartache and pain I still love him. I know that people can't tell you how to live ones life but I could sure use some advice.
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female
reader, sokaishadow +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Leave him. Do it for your children. They shouldn't look at his hog-like behavior as an example. Be strong for them and leave.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): Get to know this woman, and have her move in- that way he can pay for both kids and go sleep with her when he feels like it. At least this way you'll KNOW what's going on, and the two of you can be in control. This pig needs a pen....
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (26 November 2009):
 I am sorry to hear this, for both of you to be pregnant what are the chances?
You both already have 3 kids and with this one on the way i can see why you would want to stay within this marriage.
You both obviously have to discuss every aspect of this, because now he has two babies on the way and i assume he pays maintenance for the 8yr old and now he will have to do the same with this one?
That is going to be a lot of money forked out for all these children, to be honest if i stayed with him I'd insist first he has a vasectomy so no more children!
How does he feel though? you say you do want to stay with him but what is he saying about all this?
There was a post similar to this a while back and the married couple managed to stay together, and the other woman had her child around the same time as you both will, they seem to work it all out with him seeing this other child now and then but reassured his wife they were totally and utterly over.
I think for you that reassurance and trust will be a major factor on building this marriage back up.
I would welcome how your husband feels on this.
Gina
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