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female
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*eartbrokenxx
writes: Me and My boyfriend of 3 years just broke up recently we always used to break up on n off but this time i know it's for real because this time he's said that he doesn't love me anymore but mayb we'll meet in the future, that i'm his first love and that there is always a place for me in his heart and he won't ever speak badly of me.I am a lil lost on wat to do i'm jus takin the day as it comes and i'm not really devastated i spose coz it's happened before but i know i will go on the only thing i'm worried about which i shouldn't is that my boyfriend is bein kicked out of the house in 2 weeks and he hasn't settled into his job so i hope he does ok. we haven't spoken but last time we saw each other (our break up) we went to the beach before he dropped me home, and we had a good time.. he kept accidently callin me babe and was takin care of me all the time, it felt nice but i had to refrain from cryin. we went to buy food and he said i didn't hav to spend time with him n that i'm too good to him. that made me wana cry coz i was thinkin i am good for u yet i don't hav ur love. but i know it's for the best, i just hav my doubts n i miss him so much thinkin bout movin on n him movin on is so painful but i do really really hope he is happy. plz help me. help me find closure and advice to seal the deal and stay apart!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 It ain't real until someone is dead.
Love never ends.
There is always a hope and the hope never dies.
Breaking up is just a separation .
Some day your path will cross again.
Nobody knows...
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
If you are meant for each other,you will find each other
If not in this world but in the world here after.
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female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 I dated this one guy for 5 years, and during that time we broke up three times, the third time being the last. I took it very hard and I thought I would never recover each time we parted.
It took me a year to get over him the last time we parted ways. We didn't have any closure when we split up for good. He just called me one day and told me it wasn't going to work out any more and he wasn't in love with me. He told me he didn't feel right staying with me because he felt it was more for security than it was for love. I disagreed with him, and told him that I wasn't with him for security and I loved him more than anything. But the truth was we WERE only together for security, I just refused to acknowledge it. After a year, I was able to finally say us breaking up was the best thing we ever did.
The advice I would like to give you is don't talk to him anymore for at least two months, because talking and seeing each other before you've had time to heal is going to make it that much harder to say goodbye. He says he doesn't love you anymore and you have to try and accept it. Nothing you can do or say will change his mind, at least for right now. Maybe some time in the future your paths will cross again and something will come of it. But don't wait for it to happen. Never sit around and wait for a man to come back to you. Have a good cry, curse him to hell, and tell yourself that you will never date another man as long as you live. But after a couple weeks of feeling that way, try to pick yourself up and move on.
I suspect he's willing to hang around you right now because you two have been very close for the past two years and you provide a comfort for him that he hasn't found with anyone else, regardless that he doesn't love you anymore. You need to tell him that this odd friendship between the two of you isn't helping you cope with the fact that he doesn't want to be with you intimately anymore, and that you need some time away from him to get yourself together. I know it will be very hard for you because you always want to be with the person you love and not being around him is going to make you feel empty, but please believe me, the feeling will pass and you'll find out you can live without him.
Everything will be ok, you just have to be strong enough to shut him out of your life for a period of time. And you know what, my exboyfriend and I are very good friends now and we talk all the time. He even came to my wedding and brought his new girlfriend. I felt no pangs of heartbreak, but was so happy that this person I have known for 10 years and dated for 5 of those years was my friend. He knows me better than anyone else, and whenever I have a problem, I always talk to him.
Trust me, let him go for a little while, and you two might end up very good friends in the future.
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