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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I saw this guy four years ago..He was soo cute and he made me feel butterflies i remeber it so perfectly..The time passed by but i never talked to him;I use to see him in school everyday But i never talked to him He was just so different from me , I knew he was never going to look at me.time pass and i was always there..looking at him Listening to him ..he didnt noticed me there.But in the hallways Lunch park I would be there looking at his eyes.I thought i was obsses after 3 years.But my feeling for him continue growing;;I never accepted i was in love.How coul i be in love with him If i never talked to him?!?At some point he knew i exsisted Everyone started to talk about my crush on him..i passes all those months hidng from him Embarrased from all the things people were telling him..the first time i cried for him was that year When i saw him with his girlfriend He knew i exsited But he was annoyed and he would neve likee me..he didn't know how much i liked himwe grauated And i have seen him around two times in more than 1 year..I crie so often for him..i juss want him to be happy and i know that isnt with me But how do i forget him He's always in my mind and the memmories ..i know i love him and idk how it happened..I dont know what to dois it possible is these love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): That is definitely not love, just a really big crush. You could even say you are in love with him, but that is not true love. You can't love somebody you don't even know. When you get to know somebody really well, know all their positive and negative sides, all the good and all the bad stuff (because nobody is perfect)only then can you really love somebody. When you accept that the person you love has flaws, and it doesn't make you love him/her any less, that is true love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I am sorry you have experienced so much pain over this guy. To be honest, I don't know if it is love. I think love can be different for different people, so I would not like to say whether I think it is or not. But right now, I don't think that is the most important thing here.
What is concerning to me is how this guy is affecting you so much. It must be very upsetting to like him so much, and yet know he is not interested back. That is always painful. I think you need to make a firm decision right now in your life - make the decision to move on, no matter what it takes or how long. I know you may not want to. You might wish to hold onto him. But it is doing you no good. It is only causing you pain, and preventing you from moving forward.
You say you just want him to be happy. From what I have read, it sounds to me like he is doing okay in his life. He has a girlfriend, he has graduated like you have. His happiness is not your responsibility, it is only his. The only person whose happiness you are responsible for is your own. And it sounds like you have been neglecting that. You have been so focused on this guy that you have sacrificed your own happiness. I think it is time to turn that around now.
It will be hard, and it will take time. But I think you need to make a conscious decision to let him go. Do it in whatever way works for you. Maybe you could write a letter to him, not to give to him, but for you. You could say everything you would like to say, wish him well, and say goodbye. Or maybe you could imagine him floating away from you in a bubble. Find something which helps you, and do it whenever you are struggling.
Try and make some goals and plans for your life, which do not include him. What do you want from life? What do you want to do? What makes you happy? It is time to focus on YOU now, on making YOURSELF happy. If you let this guy go, you may feel a gap for a while. But it will be replaced by other things, by real things.
It may be difficult, but I believe you can do this. You can get through this. I have experienced similar things in the past. I would become attached to someone I knew I would never have, and it became a sort of obsession. I honestly believed I would never be able to let them go. But I did. It took a bit of time. But it happened. And you can do it to. I wish you the best.
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