A
female
age
30-35,
*ouise spreadbury
writes:recentally i had a campout with some friends, earlier in the day my boyfriends cusion told me that he had feelings for me, then later that night we kissed.my boyfriend found out and we had a massive argument and broke up but then he took me back but now he hasnt spoken to me for about two days and he told my friend that he was going off me and that he is reallie hurt by what i did. what do you think that he is thinking? should i phone him or wait for him to phone me?
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female
reader, sillygoose  +, writes (11 August 2010):
i would leave him a message or something saying that you are sorry and it was a mistake that you hope he can forgive. tell him to talk to you when he is ready, then i would let him be for awhile. i'm sure this really hurt his feelings.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I think he's evaluating if he actually wants to be in a relationship with you. You not only kissed someone else, but that person was related to him. He's also likely wondering how family could do something like that to him. This hurt him on many levels.
If you do call him, just let him know you want to talk and will give him his space until he's ready. Leave it at that and wait to hear from him. If you've already said something like that to him, then you just have to wait.
You should also be asking yourself why you kissed this guy? Is this a relationship you really want to be in if you're willing to do that?
Frankly, I'd be weighing the tenure of the relationship into my decision. Have you been together for years or months? The shorter the term, the less likely he should be to forgive something like this. The sooner into a relationship you destroy the trust, the bigger a red flag it is. You've destroyed the trust in your relationship.
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A
female
reader, T-Marie +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Hey there,
I think he will be thinking that you kissed cousin. Unfortunately these things can be forgiven but are never forgotten. I also always say that if you are willing to cheat you shouldn't be with your partner, when you truly love someone you don't want anyone else and you have no desire to cheat.
I think you need to give him time. This relationship may well be over my love.
Sorry and best of luck xxx T
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A
female
reader, Angelripper  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Do you really think your boyfriend's cousin pledges more allegiance to you than to him? I wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend had sent your cousin out to see if you would cheat on him by the sounds of it. It's a bit of a stretch as I don't know the entire situation, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if that was the case.
Maybe he is taking some time to think things over and reflect on things ... maybe he's already made his decision.
I wouldn't keep my hopes up.
-The Resident Metalhead
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Give him space for now; let him decide. I'm sorry but odds hare he will not want you back... why? Because what you did is cheating and he can never trust you again. So the relationship is doomed I'm afraid.
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